


A Stolen Life

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Human Trafficking, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Past Child Abuse, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1905987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate universe where Sam doesn't go to Stanford. He is kidnapped before he leaves home.  </p><p>*Implied rape and torture, but nothing too graphic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stealing the Innocent

It was a summer afternoon when Sam didn’t come home from the library as planned. There were no clues as to what happened to Sam. Sam was rebellious but he would never just up and leave without taking so much as his duffel bag or telling Dean. John didn’t think much of Sam leaving, an unopened acceptance letter to Stanford told John everything he needed to know about where Sam was or at least that is what John told Dean.

Dean tried to tell his father that something wasn’t right. He tried to tell John that Sam wouldn’t do that to him, but John didn’t listen. He told Dean if Sam wanted to leave like that he shouldn’t even bother coming back. For the first time, Dean felt himself going against his father’s orders.

On the first day, Dean filled up Sam’s voicemail looking for him. After the first day of trying to call Sam, his phone was running straight to voicemail. Dean wasn’t sure if this was an ominous sign or if his father was right maybe Sam just wanted to be left alone.

Nonetheless after Sam had been missing for two days he went down to the library. He showed Sam’s picture and started asking questions. Just when Dean was about to give up after hearing about the fifteenth story about how Sam was a huge geek. A socially awkward teenager girl got his attention. Her hair was wavy and unruly. She looked at Dean with nervous eyes but looked away anytime Dean looked her way. It was odd.

Dean walked up to her, “Hi, how are you?” Dean was doing his best to put on the charm. He figured any sort of attention from a man would make this girl tell him anything he wanted to know.

The girl looked up at him with terror and she pleaded, “Please, I didn’t see anything I swear. I promise I will not tell anyone what I saw.” She paused and sounded like she was trying to convince herself, “I never saw a tall shaggy haired man get taken off the street. Nope, never saw anything.” She then crossed her arms and put her head down on her chest.

Dean felt himself getting angry but knew he had to keep his calm if he wanted to get any more information, “Look, my name is Dean.” He held out a picture of his brother, “This is my brother, Sam, he is missing. You just told me you saw him get taken off the street. Who took him?”

The girl looked around suspiciously and then she whispered, “I don’t know. They drive a blue van with out of state tags. I have seen them around before. They always take the pretty and confident ones.” The girl twisted her hair in her fingers before looking away.

Dean leaned back, “Great.” Then he mumbled to himself, “Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, how the hell did you get yourself into this?”

The girl was gazing off into the distance, “They put a needle in his arm. It made him go limp. He fought until he went limp. He put one of the guys down. He could fight.”

Dean’s mind was rushing. Sam didn’t just runaway. He was kidnapped. Dean’s mind flashed to all the horrible things that they could be doing to Sam right now. Part of him wondered if Sam was already dead. Dean knew Sam wasn’t going to be well-behaved captive and he was going to take every opportunity he could to escape.

Dean made his way around the library looking for anything he didn’t see before. Next to one wall there was blood splatter, but beyond that pushed away almost out of sight was Sam’s bloody cell phone. Dean picked up his cell phone and took it back to the motel. He had to charge the phone to see if it had any clues and he had to tell Dad.  

Dean burst into the motel in almost a near panic. He put the phone on the charger well yelling out for his father. After what seemed like an eternity John finally entered from the bathroom. John looked irritated until he saw the raw panic on Dean’s face.

Dean rambled as he spoke well trying to get Sam’s phone to turn on. “Someone took Sam. This girl at the library told me someone drugged him and threw him into the back of a blue van. I found Sam’s phone outside the library.” Dean held it up so John could see the dried blood.

John stood there dumbfounded, “I.. I”

Dean put up his hand and sounded irritated, “Don’t just, don’t. If it wasn’t because I gave a damn we wouldn’t even know that some freaks took Sam. You didn’t even care. So please just don’t.”

John felt warm tears run down his face, he knew Dean was right. This time he truly failed his son. He said the only thing, he could think of saying, “Dean, I am sorry. I will make this right. I promise.”

Dean turned on Sam’s phone. The background photo was changed on Sam’s phone. It was a picture of Sam bloody and laying against the wall of the library. His eyes were distant. Dean threw the phone against the wall. Then he felt his knees give way, as he began to sob, “Sammy, come back to me. Sammy please. Please Sammy.”

John walked over and knelt down besides Dean, he wrapped his arms around Dean. John held tight, “It will be alright, Dean. I promise.” John went over to Sam’s phone and picked it. Dean could see him pushing buttons on it before absently putting the phone in his pocket.

\--

It was stuffy. That is the first thing Sam remembered. Sam started to look around but everything was blurry. He wasn’t sure where he was or what happened to him. Sam tried to sit up but found he was tied down by something. Sam pulled at the restraints, it felt like metal. He looked up at this hands which were secured above his head. He had trouble focusing, but it looked like he was shackled with thick metal cuffs and chains.

Sam looked down over his body. His clothes were missing. More than the horror of that, his legs were also shacked and there was chain around his neck securing him to the bed. Sam yelled out, “Dean!” until his voice was horse. No one came for him.

It seemed like hours before the door to the room he was being kept in opened. A young woman with long blond hair, bruises on her face and body came in. She was wearing a tattered dress. She had a tray in her hands with food and water. She sat down next to Sam.

She pickup up the water and cradled Sam’s head as she tried to get him to drink. Sam turned his head away and closed his mouth tightly. She took the water away and lightly brushed his hair out of his face. Sam felt a tear escape the corner of his eye. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He thought to himself that he had to keep it together and he had to stay calm.

The young woman continued brushing his hair until Sam finally had the courage to say something, “Let me go.”

The woman stopped brushed his hair and looked at him. She didn’t say anything. She tapped on Sam’s shoulder. Sam recognized the tapping. It was something is father taught him; something he always thought was stupid. It was Morse code. Sam nodded at the tapping to let her know he understood.

She told him, “I cannot get you out of here. We are trapped here. I am supposed to feed you.”

Sam looked over at her and his eyes met hers. His voice was nothing more than a whisper, “Why can’t you talk? Who took us?”

The woman picked up the water to get Sam to drink. This time Sam took a drink of water well keeping his eyes on her. He was unsure of what to make of her. Once she put the water down she pointed at a collar around her neck. Then she started tapping again, “If I talk, it will shock me. I do not know who took us. They do not have names.” Tears were running down her face but she put a smile on her face, “My father is in the military. I got taken off a military base. My father will find us. He will.”

Sam guessed by looking at the woman that she had been there awhile. It scared him to think that his dad and Dean may not find him quickly. He knew dad was going to be pissed, so all he could do was hope to escape and never tell John about it. Sam took a deep breath, “Do you know where we are?”

The woman shook her head no before hearing movement in the hall. She picked up a bowl of soup and started to feed Sam. Sam didn’t resist her. She was like him and he didn’t want to see her get hurt. More importantly, he needed to get a feel of his surroundings. She kept her eyes away from the door as she did so. Sam kept his eyes fixed on the door.

A man in his mid-thirties appeared in the doorway. He had pale skin, black hair and dark brown eyes. At first Sam thought he was a demon, but a cross laid around his neck. The man sauntered over to Sam and the woman. He looked down at the woman and one commanding word came out, “Leave.”

The young woman took the tray and quickly left the room. The man watched her leave with a grin on his face before turning back to Sam. He sat down on the side of the bed Sam was tied too. He started running his fingers over Sam’s bear skin.

Sam started struggling against his restraints, “Stop.” It came sounding like a plea than anything. Sam was scared but tried to remain strong. He knew he wasn’t a good solider like Dean, but he wasn’t going to roll over in this situation either.

He man did not stop. He started to hum with a smile on his face. He started to circle around Sam’s groin before looking up at Sam. “No. You don’t tell me what to do.” He said mockingly.

Sam felt panic coming over him as the man started to touch his cock. Sam was helpless. His father never trained him on how to deal with this. He felt warm tears streaming down his face. The confidence in him was draining, “What do you want from me? I won’t tell anyone, just let me go home to my family.” He started to sob out of desperation. He was captive and had no control over his own body.

He man stopped for a moment before grabbing Sam’s cock and balls in his hand. He twisted them hard making Sam scream. He leaned down and spoke harshly in his ear, “I want everything from you, Samuel Winchester. If you try to escape, if you do anything I do not like, I will send your dear sweet brother a glamor shot of you. Do you think he will enjoy seeing pictures of you like this? I know your daddy gets off on stuff like that.”

Sam knew where this was going, judging by the young woman he was going to get raped and beaten. Sam could handle getting beaten or a least he thought he could. He wasn’t sure how well he could handle getting raped. Sam knew the only thing he could do is rebel. “Fuck you.” Sam’s words spoke of defiance.

The man chuckled before backhanding Sam across the face. “I like you’re spirit, Samuel. It is a good strong spirit, but don’t worry. I will break it, soon you won’t move without me telling you too. You will forget all about your life before.” The man pulled out a whip and looked down at Sam. He ran the whip through his hand and smiled down at Sam. “Now, I think we should get started.”


	2. Finding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds Sam in an unexpected place after getting some unexpected help.

Dean separated from his father after Sam went missing. Although in most family situations that would sound like a normal progression of life to no longer live with your father. For Dean, it was interpreted as nothing short of rebellion.

John was not pleased when Dean went to leave. Dean was angry because John was more focused on hunting down vampires than trying to find Sam. John had become increasing abusive towards Dean anytime he brought up Sam or how they should be looking towards Sam. It irritated John and Dean wasn’t sure if it was because he thought he failed as parent or if he really just didn’t care.

Either way, Dean’s concern caused John to beat the hell out him. If nothing else, John would beat Dean into submission. Dean never tried to hit his father back. He didn’t even ask his father to stop. That was until the night he left.

His father was beating Dean with his belt and Dean finally having enough, reached up his hand and took hold of his father’s arm. Dean was stronger than his father by this point in his life. He easily pushed his father back and off of him. Dean heard his father yelling as he gathered his things to leave. He felt his father try to hit him again and Dean for the first time in his life hit his father back.

Dean only hit John once before knocking him out cold. Dean looked at his father and wondered to himself how his life could have come to this. First he lost his mother, then his baby brother, and now he was walking out on his father. Part of him wanted to beat the hell out of his father for everything. He would never admit it but he hated never really having a home and never having that normal life Sam wanted so badly. Part of him wanted to beg his father to forgive him for not being a good solider.

After Dean left John, it took time and some probing but he started to track down the pieces of where Sam was. He found out the blue van in question was outside a vampire nest that was taken out by hunters just a day after Sam was taken. Dean wondered if his father knew this and that was why he was obsessed with hunting vampires. It made him feel terrible for leaving his father the way he did. Maybe John was searching for Sam after all.

 None the less, something just didn’t feel right so he did some more research. Dean found that the Alpha Vampire favored feeding off of virgins and he would keep the virgins alive. From one of Dean’s nice chats with a vampire close to the Alpha he found out that the virgin child of a hunter would be considered a special delicacy.

Dean thought about that for days. He wondered if Sam was a virgin, surely not. The kid was 18 when he went missing and there was no way Dean waited that long to have sex. Dean didn’t know but he did not put it past Sam to hold off having sex until marriage or a long term relationship. Sam had standards Dean could never understand the importance of. Dean thought to himself that if Sam did get himself into this mess for being a virgin, the first thing he was going to do was buy Sam a hooker once he rescued him.

Dean decided to go on a hunt for the Alpha Vampire. He knew it was probably suicide but if the Alpha Vampire had Sam, it didn’t really leave him with much choice. Dean spent months looking and could find himself getting closer.

He never expected the Alpha Vampire to come find him. Dean was walking into yet another shady motel in yet another no name town following up a lead on the Alpha Vampire when he was grabbed. A hood was thrown over his head and he was thrown into the back of a van. Dean’s first thought was great, this must have been what Sam went through nearly 3 years ago.

The van stopped and pulled up to a house. Dean couldn’t see the house or anything around him while he was led through the house into another room. Dean heard the door lock behind him and he felt someone remove the hood from his head.

There in front of Dean was a black man with long finger nails. He looked cockier than Dean on his best day. The man smiled at Dean and spoke calmly, “I heard you were looking for me because you think I have something of yours.”

Dean snickered, he wasn’t going to give his guy the satisfaction of knowing that he was terrified and fairly certain he was about to die anyways. “Yeah, I am. Maybe you blood suckers should have thought about that before taking my brother.”

The Alpha Vampire laughed, “Dean, I enjoy your spirit but I don’t have your brother and none of my children have your brother. I brought you here because I want you to stop killing my children. I have an offer to make you, I know where your brother is.” The vampire paused looking at Dean. He put his hands together in front of his face like he was expecting some sort of response from Dean.

Dean’s eyes narrowed on the Alpha Vampire, he didn’t understand this guy. He could have killed him already, but the vampire didn’t. He wondered if these vampires actually thought that would keep him from killing every single one of them. Dean was fairly certain the vampire was lying but it never hurt to ask what he was talking about.  “Okay, then tell me where my brother is.”

The Alpha Vampire smiled which made Dean want to cut his head off even more, but the vampire didn’t seem to notice Dean’s hatred of him. He spoke causally, “He is closer than you think. He was taken by the hunters. The very people you have been working with to find him. My intelligence tells me.. He is not quite the same.”  The vampire pushed a piece of paper across the desk towards Dean, “As a token of my good faith, it is the address where your brother is being held.”

Dean looked at him suspiciously, “Why are you telling me this?”

The vampire sighed, “You don’t get to be as old as I am without gaining some knowledge. You will not stop killing my children until you get your brother back and perhaps once you know the truth you will realize you have been hunting the wrong monsters.” The vampire motioned and Dean was taken from the room. The paper with the address was shoved into Dean’s pocket by another vampire.

A hood was placed on Dean’s head and he was taken back to his motel, uninjured. It was weird and Dean didn’t know what to make of it. His first instinct was to call his father for backup. He was fairly certain that wherever the Alpha Vampire was sending Dean it was a trap.

Dean tossed down his phone and didn’t call his father. If the Alpha Vampire was telling the truth, Dean couldn’t trust other hunters at least right now. Besides, there was no point in getting his father or any other hunters killed. Dean also didn’t know how his father would react. They haven’t been on speaking terms lately.

Dean took the piece of paper out of his pocket and looked at the address. It had a name and address on the paper. The residence wasn’t far from where Dean was. Dean had never been to the residence and he decided to stake it out for a couple days before making his move.

Dean watched from a safe distance, he saw teenagers being taken into the home and being carried out dead. He recognized some of the people coming and going from the residence they were hunters. The Alpha Vampire had sent him to a hunter’s home. On the third night Dean drew closer to the house and peered in the window. He could see a young girl getting beaten and assaulted. The hunters were laughing. It only look Dean a few minutes to realize this girl was not some sort of monster; she was human.

Dean didn’t know if his brother was really in there or not, but what was happening to this girl and the other teenagers was wrong. Dean knew he had to stop it. He figured he could use his status as a hunter to get inside the residence. It sounded like a better idea than a one man raid.

Dean took a deep breath. He knew this was a bad idea, but he didn’t really have a lot of choices. He walked up to the front door and knocked. It seemed like forever before the door finally opened. Dean was greeted by Roy Stevens, a follow hunter. Dean did not recognize the other hunters in the room. Dean glanced down at the girl on the floor. She had short brown hair and looked to be about Sam’s age.

Dean knew this was completely messed up but he kept his cool. He smiled at Roy and cockily spoke, “Hey Roy, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I would stop by.” Dean searched Roy’s face as he spoke for anything but he came up with nothing solid. Roy just looked crazy to him or maybe Dean just thought he was crazy because of what was going on.

Roy smiled wide and motioned for Dean to come inside. Dean slowly walked inside and took note of his surroundings. It was like any other retreat for a hunter. It was musky, full of old books, weapons, but there was something else. Some of the weapons weren’t really kill weapons. They were used for torture. Dean wasn’t experienced in torturing people; he had a soul and he knew that was wrong.

Roy looked at the girl and then looked back at Dean. “I am glad to see you came around, Dean. We caught another whore. We are going to make her look real pretty before we send her back to hell.”

Dean looked at him curiously for a moment. Then he looked at the girl. There wasn’t a devil’s trap on the floor. Her eyes were blue and she had been crying. She was bloody and she looked so desperate. Dean reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his holy water and splashed it on her as the men watched, grinning. The girl flinched when the water hit her, but there were no signs of pain or smoke.

Dean sighed and put away the holy water. He didn’t know where to start so he figured that he would start with the obvious. “She isn’t possessed. She looks human to me.”

A man with dark hair and dark brown eyes laughed which caught Dean’s attention, “She is a whore, not a demon. We stand to make a decent wage on her if she breaks. If not, she can die like the others.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. He was fairly certain these people were crazy, no not just crazy 9 kinds of crazy. Dean sighed, “We are hunters. We don’t kill defenseless humans… Whore or not she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. She is just a defenseless girl.” Dean was trying his best to drill in that this woman was innocent, but he knew his morals were most likely lost on Roy and his friends.

Roy shrugged this time, “Oh she is not defenseless. She can see the future just like your brother.”

That was news to Dean. Sam had never had physic power before he disappeared. Dean started to wonder if the Alpha Vampire did in fact tell him the truth. Dean just shook his head, “Come again.”

The man with the dark hair chuckled. Dean wanted to kill him right then but he restrained himself. Dean stared at the girl searching for anything that might tell him this girl was anything but human. Dean couldn’t see anything that made her evil. She was a hurt human in his eyes, nothing more.

Roy stepped back from Dean and sighed, “Your daddy said he would take care of your brother. Well, that thing really isn’t your brother, but you get the idea. He took a long time to break down. I wanted just to kill him and be done with it.”

The man with the dark hair chimed in almost playfully, “Hey, you can’t go killing my slave like that. He obeys and we can use his physic powers to help us track down monsters. Right now, his visions are meaningless but with the right motivation I am hoping he will do better.”

Dean took a deep breath and thought to himself, _did someone just really call my brother a slave?_ Yes, someone did just say that about Sam. Dean decided he had to keep it together long enough to kill these people. He was furious, but he buried it. He nodded in agreement and acted like he was stretching. He pulled his arms behind him and pulled out his gun.

Dean took out Roy first then a man that remained silent the whole time. It left only the dark haired man. Dean lowered his gun and made eye contact with the man. He was unarmed, not like that meant anything to Dean. His arms were up in the air and Dean almost got the idea he wanted to negotiate with him.

Dean looked down at the girl. He found himself shouting due to the adrenaline running through his veins. “Hey, are you okay? Can you walk?”

The girl didn’t say anything, as she pulled herself to her feet. She only nodded at Dean and she refused to make eye contact. Dean quickly surveyed her injuries from a distance. There was dried blood in between her legs, a lot of blood. Dean had a pretty good idea what could have caused that but he didn’t want to ask. God, he didn’t want to know.

Dean motioned towards the door to the girl, “Run. Get out of here.” The girl didn’t run to the door she crept to the door. Her hand was around her waist as she made her way. Dean knew she couldn’t run if she wanted to or if her life depended on it like right now. But at least she was leaving. Hopefully, someone who wasn’t crazy would find her soon enough and get her to a hospital.

Dean walked closer to the dark haired man. He looked like a normal guy. Dean was fairly certain Sam could take him, even on a bad day. Dean needed to know if this man was telling the truth. He needed to know if old dark eyes here knew where Sam was. Dean let his anger show when he spoke to the man. “Where is Sam?”

The man shook his head ‘no’. Dean almost felt relief when he did that. Maybe these people were lying to him about Sam and maybe the Alpha Vampire was just sending Dean into a trap.  The man was nervous when he spoke, “Look I purchased the man downstairs fair and square. I don’t know what his name was before.” He paused before continuing to ramble. “He used to beg for someone named Dean. I broke him of that. Oh shit, you’re the Dean he talked about aren’t you? .. He doesn’t want you anymore.”

Dean snickered. He was going to kill this man. Dean pointed his gun at the man’s head, “Take me to whoever you have downstairs and you better pray to God it isn’t my brother.”

The man hedged, “It was a fair purchase…”

Dean cut him off. He couldn’t believe he was going to have a conversation with someone about how this is wrong, “Look asshole, you can’t purchase people. People are not for sale, so sorry to burst your bubble but it wasn’t a fair purchase. Now take me to him.”

++

Time passed without meaning for Sam. They sedated Sam whenever he left the room, only for Sam to wake up in another room that looked much the same. Overtime he gained freedom of movement within the room to some degree, but a thick collar around his neck kept him chained to the wall. There were no windows in his room or any room they brought him too. Sam’s body was littered with scars, bruises, cuts, and scrapes.

Every day was the same for Sam. He was given a shot every morning or at least he thought it was morning. It made his mind foggy. It made him forget about the life he had before. He would dream about his life before. It was a mix of text books and a man always playfully teasing him. There was another man in his dreams, one that he always fought with and didn’t like. But none of that really mattered most days, the only thing he could focus on was what was happening.

He didn’t resist anymore. He let them do whatever they wanted to him. Sam used to try strong when they hurt him. He used to hold back his emotions. But they broke him down, he started to beg and cry. They liked it when he did that, it would make them laugh. He used to ask for someone named, Dean. He doesn’t remember who Dean is any more. They always told him Dean is never coming back and to shut up when he asked.

Sam had an affection for one person in this place. It was his Master. His Master was the same dark haired man he met when he was first taken, but Sam doesn’t remember when that was. All Sam knows is that his quality of life depends on his Master’s whims so it doesn’t really matter when he met Master. He thinks his Master is the only person that loves or cares about him, because that is what everyone says. Everyone consists of other people hurting him on occasion. Sam is certain those people are his Master’s friends. Master would always come see Sam when they were done. He would tell Sam what a good boy he was and comfort him.

++

Sam was sitting naked in the corner shaking because he heard unfamiliar noises from outside of his room. It was the loud bangs that left a ringing sound in his ears. He could hear yelling. He could hear his Master. His Master sounded distressed. He had never heard his Master distressed. His Master was always calm. He could barely make out his Master’s voice, but came clearer as his Master drew closer to his room.

Sam could hear another man with him. This man had a deep husky voice. He sounded angry, but the voice sounded familiar. It sounded safe. The man said to Master, “You fucking take me to him or I will kill you.” Sam wondered who the man was talking about and he wondered why Master was tolerating someone talking to him so harshly. Sam knew he would be punished for speaking that way to Master.

Sam could hear his Master fumbling with keys, “Okay okay, he is in here.” Sam’s Master unlocked the door.

Sam heard the door to his room open. He looked over to see a man holding a gun to his Master’s head. Sam didn’t understand why someone would do this. Why someone would threaten his Master to be taken to him. Sam was nothing. He didn’t even have a name. Sam started to stand as he made eye contact with the man holding the gun. He looked familiar but he wasn’t sure where from.

The man hit his Master in the back of the neck with the gun. Sam flinched as his Master fell to the floor, but he remained silent. Sam was too scared to speak. He didn’t understand why anyone would hurt his Master. He wondered if he didn’t service this man correctly at some point or maybe Master didn’t want this man to hurt him. Sam didn’t know.

The man kicked his Master hard in the stomach before looking over to Sam. The expression and tone in the man’s voice changed. He sounded concerned and a little panicked, “Sammy, are you okay? Do you have clothes? We need to get out of here.”

Sam stood there dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to say and looked down fiddling with his thumbs. The name Sammy sounded vaguely familiar, but no one really called him anything now besides whore, slut, slave, and fucking piece of shit. He knew that his Master would punish him for answering the man. He knew how harsh punishment could be so decided it was best to stay quiet and hope the man leaves.

The man spoke again, this time his agitation was higher, “Dammit Sammy, can you hear me?” The man was clearly looking at Sam, only glancing down every couple moments to make sure Master stayed in place.

Sam didn’t know why his Master remained silent. He thought that maybe Master was hurt. Sam thought it would be best to direct his question to his Master. If this was some sort of test, that is what would be expected. He was nervous and broken when he spoke, “Master what is going on? I am sorry, Master, but I do not know what to do.”

From the floor Sam’s Master rolled over and started to chuckle, the man kicked his Master hard again in the chest and grabbed him by the hair pulling his head back. Sam watched in horror as the man cocked his gun to his Master’s head, “What the fuck, did you do to my brother?”

Sam’s Master continued to laugh, “He doesn’t remember you, Dean. He only knows me. He is mine. He will never go back with you.” Sam didn’t understand what was funny and he didn’t understand how he could have a brother that hurt his Master. This was an odd situation that he wasn’t sure how to handle.

Dean shrugged then shot Sam’s Master in the head. His body fell to the ground and a pool of blood started to form around his head. Sam backed up to the corner of his room. He was overtaken by fear he did not know if this man was going to kill him or worse. He did not know how he was going to function without his Master. He wondered briefly if this was the Dean he used to ask for, but then he put that out of his mind. Surely, the one person he always asked for wouldn’t take his Master away.

Dean looked over a Sam. He put his gun away. He picked up the keys from the dead man’s hand. He started to walk towards Sam with his hands up. He wanted Sam to know that he wasn’t going to hurt him. Sam pressed his hands into the wall in terror as Dean approached him. The broken fingernails on his hand pushed up a little more as he dug into the wall causing them to bleed.

Sam didn’t know what to do so he just started to cry. Dean didn’t know what to do either. There was no training manual on how to rescue your brainwashed little brother who didn’t remember you. Dean wondered if he was really not that memorable of a big brother.  He thought about all the dick things he used to do to Sam like ditching him to go hook up with girls and all the pranks they used to pull on each other. He smiled when he thought about those good times. He hoped that somewhere inside of Sam he remember those good times. But more than that he hoped that somewhere inside of Sam he remembered him.

Sam’s head was fuzzy as the man got closer he came more into focus. Dean could see that Sam was scared and hurt, but he needed to know Sam was real. Dean put up hands up on Sam’s face cupping it in his hands. Sam looked into the man’s green eyes. Dean was crying. Sam didn’t know why he was crying. Sam thought maybe he was crying because he just killed Master.

Sam started to turn his eyes down away from the man, but as he did there was a flicker inside of him. He remembered something about those eyes. Words spoken by the man with green eyes from a time before his Master, _“I will always protect you, Sammy. Always.”_ Those words always comforted him in his life before but he wasn’t sure why or how.

Sam stayed silent as Dean started to pull away and unlock the collar around his neck. As the collar dropped to the floor Sam watched it fall before looking back at Dean. Thoughts were racing through Sam’s head. He didn’t know what to do, but there was only one nagging question on his mind. Sam took a deep breath and was uncertain when he spoke, “I am Sammy? Master never …” Sam couldn’t bring himself to tell the man he didn’t have a name.

Dean shrugged taking off his jacket and putting it over Sam’s shoulder. Dean couldn’t believe he was having to tell Sam what his name was. Dean wondered what they called him here, but then he decided he didn’t want to know. Sam’s Master was nine kinds of crazy and right now any information what he did to his Sam may just make him want to put more bullets into the guy he just shot.

Dean tried to keep his voice small and comforting, “Yes, you are Sammy. You used to get pissed off when I called you Sammy. You preferred to be called Sam. Do you remember me?” Dean felt like he was going to die right then. He remembered teaching Sam how to write his name. He remembered when Sam didn’t want to be called Sammy anymore. He remembered showing Sam pictures of their late grandfather, Samuel Campbell. He remembered telling Sam that he was named after that man, but now. Now Sam didn’t seem to remember any of that.

Sam shook his head ‘no’ while looking down. Sam wondered how this man knew his name and how this unknown man knew anything about him.  He felt uncertain as he spoke. “You look familiar and I remember your voice.” Dean started to lead Sam out of the room. Dean wanted to get out of here as quickly as he could before more of the nut jobs showed up. He wouldn’t mind killing them all but right now he needed to focus on Sam. He had to protect Sam and get him to a safe place.

Sam stopped walking as he looked down at Dean, “You used to say that you would always protect me. Why did you kill my Master?” Sam felt urgency from Dean but he had to know what was going on.

Dean sighed, this was worse than talking to a child but asking questions at the worst possible moment was just so Sam. It used to drive their father nuts. It used to drive Dean crazy until he figured out that if he explained everything to Sam beforehand Sam wouldn’t ask questions that should have been answered earlier.

Dean didn’t want to get irritated but the idea of Sam being owned by anyone wanted to make him go on a killing spree, but he already went on a killing spree. Humans, Dean could never understand humans. He already killed the man that was hurting Sam. Now, he had to fix Sam. He didn’t know how to explain that to Sam. His brother just seemed so far gone. The shell of his brother was there, somewhere, he could see it or at least he hoped he could see it.

Dean didn’t say anything. He just nudged Sam along until he lowered him into the backseat of the Impala. Sam started to fidget with an army man stuck in the passenger door on the driver’s side. It was familiar but Sam couldn’t place from when. Dean put a blanket over Sam before getting into the drivers seat. Dean took a deep breath before looking back at Sam.

Dean had never seen his brother look so lost. Part of Dean wondered if he was doing the right thing. Part of him wondered if Sam, his Sam, the one he didn’t protect like he promised would want to live like this. Dean had no idea how he was going to fix this but he was going to find a way.


	3. Safety

Dean knew he had to get Sam some place safe. He could barely think straight himself, so he went to his safe haven. He drove straight through to Bobby’s house. He didn’t call and let Bobby know he was coming. Dean just couldn’t put into words right now what he should say. He knew Bobby would understand and try to help Sam, but how do you tell someone that was like a father to you that your brother is alive but gone.

Bobby heard the Impala pulling up to his house. He knew it must be Dean and it wasn’t uncommon for Dean to stop by when he was in the area. Bobby was actually relieved to hear from him. He had just got a call about a group of hunters getting slaughtered about 6 hours from his house. Bobby had just started doing research on what have taken out the hunters. They were some of the best hunters Bobby had at his disposal.

Bobby sighed and thought that maybe he could get Dean to help on this case because maybe it would get his mind off Sam. Bobby never gave up on finding Sam; it was just by this point 3 years had passed and he knew the odds of Sam being found alive were not in his favor.

Bobby got up from his study to go greet Dean. He opened the screen door to his house and he noticed someone was with him. There was a man in the back seat with his head down and looking away. He had long chestnut brown hair and he was covered in an old blanket. The same old blanket Dean kept in the trunk of the Impala that Bobby kept telling him to get rid of and buy a new one.

Bobby looked at Dean and saw blood stains on his clothes and on his knuckles. Dean looked exhausted and Bobby could have sworn it looked like Dean had been crying. Bobby shook his head. There is no way Dean would have been crying. Bobby doubted the kid cried when his mommy died. Bobby let out another sigh as he wondered who Dean was with and what the hell was going on.

Bobby gave Dean a concerned look as he stepped towards the Impala, “Dean, it is has been awhile.”

Dean closed the front door to the Impala and opened the backdoor where the man was sitting. Bobby watched as the man recoiled away from Dean. The man was frightened of Dean. Bobby smirked because he couldn’t blame someone for being afraid of Dean. The kid can be downright cold at times. Bobby grinned a moment longer before he heard Dean speak.

Dean’s voice was gentle and soothing, “Sammy, It is just your brother. We are at our Uncle Bobby’s house. We aren’t going to hurt you. Sammy, will you let me take you inside so we can get you settled.”

Bobby could feel a cold rush coming over him. He almost tripped over his own feet running towards the Impala. Bobby stopped right behind Dean and took in the man. He watched as the man turned his head towards Dean. As Bobby took in the man’s face, he couldn’t breathe. It was Sam.

Bobby walked over and helped Dean pull Sam out of the car. Sam didn’t say a word. They sat Sam down on the sofa. Sam curled onto himself until he was curled in a little ball on the sofa. His eyes were distant and vacant. Bobby could remember when they were full of life. He could remember the expressiveness of Sam’s features. But none of that was present and it broke Bobby’s heart.

Bobby knelt down beside Sam as Dean was getting a bucket with a wet wash cloth and Sam’s duffel. Bobby spoke softly careful not to touch him, even though right now all he wanted to do is hug the kid and never let go. “Sam, are you okay?” He didn’t get a response. He didn’t even get so much as flinch out of Sam.

Bobby sighed and decided to try again, “Sam, it is okay you can talk to me. Do you know who I am?”

Bobby watched as Sam’s stared off into the distance and his breathing increased. “He killed Master. He took me here. I don’t have a name, but he says my name is Sammy. That sounds familiar, but..”

Bobby couldn’t hold back his cries. The tears rolled down his face freely. His strong voice was replaced with begging and a hand grasp tightly around Sam’s hand as he cut him off, “Oh Sam, we’ll get you patched up. We will Sam, I promise. You’ll be as good as new. I promise Sam.”

Sam stared at Bobby blankly. His head was starting to hurt. He knew that his Master normally gave him a little pinch in his arm each day, but he didn’t get the pinch today. He wondered if he would ever get the pinch again. He didn’t really know what to say to these people. He had no idea who they were but there was some recognition there.

Sam started to take in his surroundings. It felt familiar and it felt safe. He couldn’t place where he knew it from. He felt his mind drift for a moment. It was fuzzy inside his head but he could see something about this place inside his head. He saw a memory or at least that is what he thought it might be. He remembered watching a movie with the man in front of him and the man that killed his Master.

Sam barely noticed when Dean finally got back. Sam didn’t fight Dean as he started to wipe down his skin. Sam had grown used to this sort of thing. He knew where it lead and he knew he was going to get hit and have objects put inside of him soon. Sam closed his eyes. He could hear Dean talking, but he didn’t pay much attention to the words. His head was hurting too bad.

Sam felt fabric run in between his legs. He looked down and saw the men dressing him. It felt weird and he knew Master had forbidden him to wear clothes. Sam starts to think about how he is going to get punished. It hurts to get punished.

Sam starts to cry and plead, “Please don’t… Sir.. Please don’t”

Sam watched as the man that killed his Master just shook his head and looked up at him. His voice had an edge to it. “Sammy, I am not going to touch you but you have to put some clothes on man.”

Sam shook his head as he felt an elastic band fall around his waist. He knew better than to try to push the clothes off of him. He pleaded again, “No, Sir. You don’t understand. Master’s friends will find me and punish me.”

Dean stayed silent for a moment as he worked sweatpants over Sam’s hips. It wasn’t his first choice in clothing for Sam, but given that he wasn’t all there. He didn’t want to make this any more difficult that necessary and right now he didn’t know if he had it in him to explain to Sam how to zip up his pants.

Dean stopped and looked at Sam after the pants were on. He wished more than anything that it was the other way around. Sam had always been so smart and he was the grunt. He deserved a fate like this; Sam did not. Sam had his life stolen from him. Dean knew rationally, the Sam he knew was gone and he was never going to get to talk to that Sam again. But he couldn’t give up on Sam and he wanted to get as much as his brother back as possible.

Dean spoke carefully, “Sammy, please don’t call me Sir. I am your brother. Please call me Dean.” He paused before asking, “Do you know the names of your Master’s friends?”

Sam looked at him dazed, “I call all of them Sir except one who insists I call him Dad.” Sam wondered if this man was going to kill his Master’s friends too, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. He didn’t want to get punished for asking questions.

Dean just nodded and thought about how sick some people were in the world. He pulled an old quilt up over Sam and tucked it in around him like he did when they were kids. Sam didn’t stop him for which Dean was grateful. If nothing else, Dean could at least pretend he had his Sammy back. Dean watched as Sam drifted off to sleep.

Once he was asleep Dean stepped away from him and walking into the kitchen. Bobby had his head slumped over the kitchen sink. Dean poured a cup of coffee as he watched Bobby carefully. He was fairly certain Bobby was having a meltdown. He couldn’t blame him; he wanted to go outside and scream at the top of his lungs for hours. He wanted to curse a God he didn’t believe in but he couldn’t.

Dean stood in silence as he sipped on his coffee wondering who was going to break the silence first, but his cell phone rang breaking the silence. Dean looked down to see it was his father. He sighed at the sight of it because he didn’t call him to let him know he found Sam. Dean slipped a “Shit.” Through his lips before opening up his open. “Hello.”

John’s voice was gruff and tired. “Dean, where are you?”

Dean pinched the top of his nose and tried to think of the best way to ease into this, “I am at Bobby’s place. Why?”

John sighed, “Fine, enjoy your holiday.”

Dean put out his hand to stop his dad from hanging up, which was silly because he wasn’t in the same room as the man. “No wait, Dad. I need to talk to you it is important.”

John sounded angry, “Dean, it better be important.”

Dean was uneasy, “I found Sam, alive. The Alpha Vampire told me where to find him.”

Dean could hear John fuming on the other end of the line, “Really? What did you give the Alpha Vampire to get that information I doubt he would sell out his own children easily.”

Dean wanted to throw his phone against the wall, “Look Dad, I don’t have time for this. The Alpha Vampire told because he wanted me to stop torturing and killing his children. But that doesn’t matter right now, what matters right now is Sam.” Dean paused as he looked back into the living room. He could feel the tears swelling in his eyes, “I don’t know what they did to him but he doesn’t remember anything. He doesn’t even remember his own name.”

Dean could hear banging on the other end of the line, “Dean, I will be there in the morning to take care of this.” Then John hung up the phone.

Dean had a knot in his stomach. He looked at Bobby and said stunned, “Bobby, do you think Dad would ever hurt Sam? Do you think he had anything to do with this?”

Bobby wanted to tell Dean of course not, but that wouldn’t have been the truth. The truth was John acts strange whenever he brought up Sam and he knew about the way John would get violent with Dean when Dean wanted to find his brother.

Bobby turned back towards Dean and shrugged, “I don’t know, Dean. I know he did some pretty bad things to you and I wouldn’t doubt he did some of those same things to Sam.”

Dean nodded before looking back down at his coffee. He didn’t want to think about his father hurting Sam. It was his job to protect Sam and he knew he had always done a bad job of it.

Bobby sensed the tension. He reached in and hugged Dean firmly. He pulled back and smiled at Dean, “No matter what anyone says, I am proud of you Dean.  You should get some rest. I can keep an eye on Sam.”

+++

Dean was asleep in the upstairs bedroom as light started to peak through the windows. He sighed and stretched out on the bed. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but if the sun was up he was going to call that rested. Dean swung his feet out of the bed and reached for the door handle of the bedroom. He opened the door and crept into the hallway.

That was when he heard it. Dean heard sobbing coming from downstairs. He considered himself an expert on all things Sam and he knew immediately it was Sam who was sobbing. He rushed down the stairs to see Sam asleep on the sofa; he was sobbing and murmuring unrecognizable words in his sleep. Dean could see the tense muscles of his face and the uncomfortable flexing of his hands. It was clear Sam was having a nightmare.

Dean stepped closer to him slowly. He didn’t want to startle Sam but he also wanted to wake him up. Dean slowly knelt down next to Sam. As he reached out his hand to touch Sam on the shoulder to wake him up Dean could barely make out what he was saying. His voice was light and weak, but the words were clear “Dean help me. Dean!”

Dean slowly pulled his hand away and stared for a moment. Somewhere inside Sam, he knew who Dean was that knowledge felt nice but the fact that Sam was having a nightmare was definitely not good. Dean rubbed his hand over his face before reaching out for Sam again. The gently touched Sam on the shoulder. He spoke quietly and gently, “Sammy, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

Sam jolted from his sleep and flinched away from Dean. His eyes were dilated and breathing was labored. He looked around the room searching before his focus landed on Dean. Sam stared at him for a moment. Then he laid his head back down and put his arm over his eyes. Sam spoke quietly, “This isn’t real.”

Dean reached up his hand and pulled Sam’s arm away from his face. Sam didn’t fight him or look at him.  Dean moved his hands to cup Sam’s face and forced him to look at him in the eye. Dean held Sam’s gaze for a few moments before he rested his forehead on Sam’s head, “Sammy, this is real. You are safe. I promise. How are you feeling this morning?”

Sam grimaced and pulled away from Dean. He looked away again. Sam’s head was a mess. It was a blur of memories and what his Master taught him. He was slowly starting to remember the time before his Master and all the things his Master would hit him for if he dared to mention. He didn’t understand what was going on. More than anything, Sam just wanted to get the pinch in his arm and to go back into his cell to be left alone.  

Sam didn’t really know what to say this man, Dean. The man’s name was Dean and he was part of his past that Sam knew he wasn’t supposed to think about. He wondered so many things but he knew better than to ask. He didn’t want to get punished. He thought about his current situation for a moment and realized that if he lied to Dean then he could get punished worse than if he told the truth. Dean didn’t seem like the sort of person who liked to play games or talk about feelings. Sam had the passing thought of ‘no chick flick moments’ but he didn’t really know for sure how that related to Dean.

Sam sat up slowly and looked at Dean for a moment before responding, “My head hurts. I am remembering things from my time before Master. I know I am not supposed to remember those things. But everything is just so blurry.”

Dean nodded and thought to himself that Sam must have been drugged. He figured that would make sense and surely the right cocktail could cause Sam to forget who he was. Dean just hoped that going off whatever they were giving Sam didn’t cause him too much pain. Although, Dean knew that Sam’s life was never great and he hated to think of Sam having to relive his life inside his mind just to find himself again.

Dean put on a fake smile for Sam’s sake and kept his voice soft, “It’s okay to remember, Sammy. I want you to remember. Why don’t you rest and I will get us something to eat?”

Sam looked at Dean questioning for a moment. He didn’t really know what to make of Dean aside from flashes of recognition and he felt that from his time before he trusted Dean with his life. Sam knew there was no point in fighting. It always hurt more to put up a fight so he just nodded his head and closed his eyes.

++

Dean stumbles into the kitchen to find Bobby staring at a computer screen sipping on coffee. Bobby perks an eyebrow at Dean but then looks back down at the computer. Dean wanders over and pours a cup of coffee. He leans against the counter. His entire world is a mess and everything he thought he knew was up in the air. He had spent the past day trying to hide from the reality of the situation he was faced with and if he had his way he would continue hiding from it was long as possible.

Dean noticed that Bobby had a pretty intense gaze on his computer and he still hadn’t spilled all the details of finding Sam. He knew Bobby would get it out of him sooner or later and he was waiting for the impending lecture about how he wasn’t supposed to kill humans.

Dean let out a sigh, “Good Morning, Bobby. What are you looking up over there?”

Bobby leaned back and took another swig of his coffee. He ran his hand through his hair and said disgusted, “Someone killed some hunters a few hours from here. The whole thing is just weird. A local girl was found running down the street saying that these men kidnapped her and were hurting her. Then someone broke in and killed them and told her to run.” Bobby sighed, “Your daddy is there. He said there is no sign of sulfur, EMF, or anything.”

Dean knew Bobby was talking about his handiwork but he a little voice in his head told him to find out more information before he admitted to doing the deed. Dean responded curiously, “Why is dad there? Did he know the hunters?”

Bobby shook his head, “Your dad has been running close to these hunters for the past few years. They tend to hunt vampires mostly. But the murders doesn’t look like one done by vampires.”

Dean chuckled before putting his coffee cup on the counter. He looked at Bobby before he asked coldly, “One of those hunters that died. Was his name Roy?”

Bobby nodded and gave Dean a confused look.

Dean chuckled a little more, “Did dad mention anything else about the situation with Roy and crew?”

Bobby shook his head ‘no’ and shot Dean a concerned look before asking. “Is there something you want to tell me, son?”

Dean crossed his arms and looked at Bobby in the eye. “You can tell dad to let it go. I killed Roy and his crew of perverts. They had Sam and they were murdering teenagers. God, knows what they did to those kids and Sam. They aren’t hunters; they are dicks.” Dean paused before raising his voice, “The most messed up thing is it was the Alpha Vampire that told me where Sam was. A monster told me where to find Sam.”

Bobby stared to get up to try to get Dean to calm down but before he got far Dean slumped and slid down against the cabinet. He held his head in his hands and spoke softly, “I don’t know who the real monsters are anymore.”


	4. Sam's Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam Remembers Pieces of his past from his dreams.
> 
> This chapter contains child abuse and the mention of rape.

Sam’s head hurt and his body ached. The body ache was nothing new for Sam though. He didn’t know why but it didn’t bother him anymore. Still his head was spinning and the world seemed blurry. He was afraid to go to sleep, but at the same time, he knew it was better to sleep when he had the chance. He knew that once these people decided to do whatever they were going to do to him; that he wouldn’t have the option to ask them to stop for a nap.

So Sam closed his eyes and drifted into a soft and fitful slumber. In his dreams he was remembering his past. His past came to him in more of moments scattered throughout time.

_Sam dreamt about being a small child probably about 9 or 10. He was alone in a motel room, though he didn’t recognize it as a motel room in his dream. The concept of a motel was foreign to his mind now. He was sitting on the edge of a bed swinging his feet off the edge as he hummed to himself. Sam could feel that he felt something inside in this moment; he felt contentment._

_His contentment faded when he heard the door to the motel room open. He watched as a teenage boy entered the room. The teenager had sandy blond hair and he carried something in his hands. Sam could feel his initial unease with the door opening fade into excitement._

_Sam felt himself jump off the bed and he felt his feet hit the floor. He could feel the anticipation and safety inside of him as he spoke to this teenager, “Hey Dean, did you bring us dinner?”_

_Sam watched Dean roll his eyes as he sat the bag down the table. He took in Dean’s face and saw something he didn’t see before. He saw a fading yellow bruise on the side of his face. But neither he nor Dean spoke a word about it and inside Sam’s memory the bruise did not raise any concerns for him._

_Dean smiled at Sam and spoke in a cocky voice, which annoyed Sam. “Yes Sammy, I got us burgers. Sit and eat before it gets cold.”_

Sam’s mind shifted again to a different memory. His mind ached as everything changed.

_He was older in this memory. He was 16. When Sam looked around one of the things he noticed is that he was tall. He felt a growing strength inside of him but he also felt anger. Sam was inside a living room not unlike the one he was in now, but it was different. It didn’t feel safe. He was with an older man with dark hair and a scrappy stubble on his face._

_The man spoke first, Sam could feel the hate in his voice and his contempt for this man, “Sam, I don’t give a damn what you want. This isn’t about you.”_

_Sam could feel a fury build inside him as he threw his arms out to side. He did something in this memory he wouldn’t dare to now. He looked at this man in the eye. He could see red lines outlining the man’s green eyes. He could see the hurt in the man’s eyes, but that didn’t cause any desire on his part to back down. He could feel a burning anger inside of him as he spoke, “I give a damn what I want. I am going to get away from you and I am going to have a normal life. Normal people, do not drag their children around the country on an ill-fated mission of revenge.”_

_Sam watched the man’s eyes narrow on him. He could feel himself take a step back as he watched the hurt in the man’s eyes turned to a look of hate. When the man spoke he felt the words cut through in and his words left a pain in his chest, even though the man did not touch him. “That is why I never loved you, Sam. I should let you die in the fire.”_

_Sam could feel himself turn away from this man as he felt his eyes sting. He was upset but his focus inside his mind was calming down and not letting this man get to him. He could feel himself willing away the sting inside his eyes. Sam could hear his internal voice telling him the man was lying and it wasn’t true but another part of him was telling him it was true._

_Then Sam felt a sinking feeling as felt a pull on the back of his arm._

His mind shifted again to a different point in his life.

_He was crawling around the floor of an old abandoned house, but that didn’t bother him. Sam was a small child. He held an army man his hand and he pretended the army man was going on a patrol throughout the house. Sam would turn the army man from left to right as he pretended to check for enemies._

_Sam did this until he reached the door to the room and he cracked the door open. Sam could see down the hallway of the abandoned housed. His eyes took note of the wallpaper peeling off the walls. He thought about pulling it down later for fun. Then his eyes focused on living room. There were two men in the living room._

_Sam slipped out of the bedroom and he silently crawled down the hallway so he could get a better look at the men. He peered at them around the edge of the wall connecting the hallway to the living room. Inside he felt nervous. He was afraid of getting caught. He wanted to be sneaky._

_Sam looked and saw a dark haired man with green eyes. He was drawn to the dark haired man. This man made him feel safe and loved. There was another man with him. This man had black hair and black eyes against his pale flesh. The sight of the other man startled Sam and he took a strained breath._

_His breath was too loud and Sam could feel the impending fear of being caught come over him. He curled up in himself and held his head in his knees as he felt someone walk towards him. Sam could feel someone kneeling down in front of him. Then he felt someone grab his face and he opened his eyes. It was the green eyed man._

_Sam could felt a sinking feeling as he looked into the man’s eyes. Then he felt a sharp pain in his arm as he was pulled from the floor. He felt fear inside of him and he started crying. More than anything right now he wanted comfort, but instead he felt afraid. Sam could feel inside his mind that he wanted someone in particular. He wanted Dean._

_Sam felt the green eyed man pull him off the floor and pick him up harshly by his arm. His feet were a foot off the ground. He felt the strain in his arm and the pull of the muscles along his shoulder. As Sam felt pain and he felt himself start to sob. But just as soon as he was picked up he was dropped back down to the floor. He felt his knees and the palms of his hands hit first._

_Sam felt himself trying to catch his breath and calm down but before he could he felt a pull on the hair on the back of his head. Sam heard himself scream as he reached his hands up towards his head. He heard himself beg and a vain effort to get it to stop. “I’m sorry, Daddy. Please let me go.”_

_The man did not respond to Sam instead he dragged Sam through the house. Sam could only see the ceiling through his tear stained eyes. He tried desperately to get his father to let go of his hair, but it was pointless._

_Sam felt some relief as his father stopped moving but his fist was still tightly twisted in his hair. He heard a door opening and he felt himself getting shoved into a small room with clothes hanging above him. Sam watched as his father closed the door and darkness surrounded him. He felt an overwhelming fear as he curled up in the corner and rocked himself back and forth._

Sam could still feel inside of him the loneness and the pain as his mind once again shifted.

_Sam was older now. This memory was from 3 years ago. He was chained to the wall of a cement room much like the one he was found in. He was cold and in pain. Sam felt like his back was on fire and it hurt to sit. He couldn’t stand because the chains were too short. He felt himself curl into the fetal position against the wall. Careful to stay off of the points in his body that caused the most pain and trying to keep as much warmth in as possible._

_Sam could feel the coolness of blood running down his back in places. He could feel the cool moisture around his thighs that made him hurt inside even more. It was not a physical pain when he felt that moisture in between his legs; it was an emotional pain because something was taken from him which could never be given back._

_As he laid there on the cool floor, Sam felt all his hope fading from him. He felt his fight leaving his body. He felt his will to live leaking out through his eyes. Sam could hear himself pray between his cries, “Please God, I am sorry for anything I may have done. Just please God, please, make this stop.” Throughout Sam’s tears and his countless other prayers and pleading with God. No one came to help him and God did not make it stop._

_Slowly Sam started to give up on praying. He thought that God may need some more time to consider or maybe he deserved this fate. He remembered thinking to himself that at least it wasn’t Dean in this position. He would never want Dean to face this._

_Sam was pulled from his desperation as the door to the room opened. The light hurt his eyes and he buried his face against the floor. He figured they would start hitting him again soon and the last thing he wanted was to get hit in the face first thing. Sam was afraid of whoever was at the door because of what they intended to do to him._

_Sam tensed as he heard the person walking towards him. Then he felt a gentle calloused hand on his shoulder.  The hand gave Sam a gentle tug. He closed his eyes and tried desperately to stop the tears flowing from his face. He wanted to show this man, whoever he was that he was strong and that they couldn’t break him. Even though, he knew they were well on their way to breaking him._

_Sam didn’t lift up his head, but he heard a voice from behind. Sam recognized this voice; it was the voice of his Master. His Master’s voice didn’t give him comfort in this memory; instead he felt a greater fear. “John, you are right he is a strong one.”_

_Sam felt a sharp pain of betrayal in his heart. Inside his memory, he knew who John was. John was his father. Somewhere inside Sam’s head, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. Sam rose up his head to look at the man whose hand sat on his shoulder. He blinked his eyes a few times as the room came into focus. All the while, hoping beyond hope he was wrong. But he wasn’t, Sam stared at his father looking down on him on the cold floor._

_Sam still held out hope that his father would take him home and let him leave. They could forget this ever happened. He wanted to ask his father why and a million other questions, but when he opened his mouth to speak no words came out. The shock that his father could let this happen to him and want this to happen to him left him speechless and in a state of shock._

_John gave Sam a sympathetic look and spoke, “Sam, I am sorry. This is the only way. You are destined to be evil and if we can break you so you obey someone. That should stop you from obeying demons. I wanted a chance to talk to you one last time before they started drugging you to take away your memories and make you more compliant.”_

_Sam couldn’t hold back the tears that formed inside his eyes. He couldn’t feel anything but pain and loss. He lost one of the two men he knew he could ever trust. Sam wondered why he would think it had to come to this, but most of all he just wanted to die. If he was truly evil than his death would surely end anything he was intended to do. Sam finally found the words to speak, “Dad?”_

_Sam watched as John nodded, “Yes son, it’s your Dad. I promise I am going to come see you from time to time. But after tonight you will have trouble remembering who I am and that is okay. I want that.”_

_Sam could hardly believe what he was hearing, if it wasn’t for the current state of his body and the violation he faced earlier in the evening. He wouldn’t believe it. Sam knew the look his father gave him. It was one he gave countless other monsters they hunted when he felt some degree of empathy for what he had to do. Sam didn’t know if his father loved him or not and quite frankly right now he was pretty sure his father did not love him._

_Sam thoughts went back to death. If his father thought he was this evil monster then why won’t they just kill him?  Sam could feel the brokenness inside of him as he spoke, “If I am evil; then please just kill me.”_

_Sam watched as John shook his head ‘no’. “We can’t kill you, Sam. There are others like you and we need to be in control of one. We have to keep you alive.”_

_In a way that made sense to Sam, in a crazy sort of way, but still it made sense. He knew there was no arguing with his father on that. Sam just wanted to know one more thing. He wanted to know if anyone in the world actually cared about him. “Dean?”_

_Sam watched as John chuckled, “He figured out you were missing pretty quickly. Don’t worry though, he won’t find you. He will never in a million years think it was hunters that took you and that his own father was in on it.”_

Sam’s mind shifted again, this time to memories of Dean.

_He was 8 years old inside this memory. He was running his hand in the bath water to check the temperature. It was warm, but not too warm and it didn’t leave his hand feeling cold. In Sam’s mind, the water temperature was perfect. Sam could feel that he was on a mission. A mission of helping and doing what he could._

_Sam turned off the water and turned around. He looked against the wall where he saw the curled up figure of a 12 year old boy. There was blood streaking through is sandy blond hair. There was blood from a bloody nose covering the front of his white t-shirt and scuff marks going up the length of his forearms. Sam felt a sense of pity and hurt. He felt safe inside this little room with this boy. But inside he felt angry about this happening. Sam focused himself on his mission at hand. He put his little fingers on the boy and he gently started to pull the t-shirt off._

_The boy let out a cry, “Ah… It hurts to move.”_

_Sam stopped trying to pull up the shirt for a moment and stared into the boys green eyes. They were red but no tears had fell from his eyes. He looked jaded. Sam felt a sense of envy because this person was so strong. He wished he could be as strong as Dean. Sam could never understand why he let himself get treated like this though._

_After giving Dean a moment, Sam pulled the shirt off Dean and revealed his chest. It was covered in bruises of different sizes and bright purple in color. He could see spots of broken skin and he could see a rug burn along one of his sides._

_Sam gasped at the sight and tears started to fill his little eyes. He wasn’t like Dean. He wasn’t strong like him. Sam felt sadness as he spoke, “Dean, what did Daddy do you?”_

_Dean looked at Sam a smirked. It was a fake smirk to deflect whatever he was really feeling inside even at 8 Sam knew that. Dean always thought he was a master at lying but Sam could see through it. Dean spoke with all the confidence his 12 year old self could muster, but it still came out sounding like a broken soldier. “Sammy, sometimes Dad gets upset and he does thinks he doesn’t mean. It is nothing, Sam. Just stay away from him and let me handle him.”_

_Sam felt his little head nod even though he didn’t want to let his brother subject himself to this. He wanted things to be different and he would give anything for it to be different. Sam felt himself cry for himself and for his brother._

Sam woke up with a start. He felt someone touching his shoulder. He turned his head to look at it was Dean. Not the child of his dreams, but the adult he was now. Sam dried away the tears that had fell in his sleep and dried his eyes. Somewhere inside of Sam, he was hoping that Dean was really saving him and not setting him up.

Dean smiled at Sam. It was a fake smile and Sam caught that. But just as when they were children he didn’t say anything. Dean wasn’t really sure what was going on Sam’s head and he wasn’t even sure if he should ask. Anytime, Sam started babbling about his Master. Dean regretted killing the man so quickly. At this point, Dean was certain that skinning the man alive would have been a better option. He hoped that man was burning in hell.

Dean spoke carefully, “Sam, I have some breakfast for you. I feel stupid for asking this but do you need help using silverware or eating? I don’t know what much of what you remember how to do.”

Sam grimaced as he tried to think. He always ate from a bowl on the floor when he was with his Master and in his dreams, he doesn’t remember actually eating anything. Sam stared at the plate for a moment then he cast his eyes down to the ground. He was ashamed when he spoke, “Master has me eat from a bowl on the floor.”

Dean nodded holding back his discomfort. He sat down the plate on the coffee table. He looked into Sam’s eyes and could still see pain. Dean wondered if he was remembering anything worth remembering and if he could he would tell Sam to remember life skills first. But he knew Sam would have no control over that. Dean put on another fake smile and said calmly, “You’re not eating from a bowl on the floor, Sam. Let me get you into the kitchen. We can sit at the table. It will be easier to teach you there.” Dean paused as Sam briefly looked up at him and made eye contact before casting his head back down. “Don’t worry Sam, you’re not going to get in trouble.”


	5. Things Do Not Go Unnoticed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The FBI's investigation into the murders and Sam's disappearance.

Victor Henriksen stood outside the cabin containing the triple murder in Fairfield, IA. He wasn’t pleased. His duty within the FBI was the clean up the messes made by hunters without them ever knowing. This whole situation was new. The field around the cabin contained bodies of young men and women, who were very clearly tortured to death. These particular hunters have not come up on the radar of the FBI for a clean up until now.

Victor sighed and took a deep breath. He walked into the house and saw forensics working throughout the house. This was going to be difficult to cover up. He made his way down to the basement and looked inside what appeared to be a cell. He could see keys and a collar attached to the wall on the floor. Off the side he saw the body of Lee Chambers. He had a single gunshot wound at pointblank range in his head. Victor knew the killing of Chambers was intentional and not defensive.

The cell itself sent chills up Victor’s spine. As he looked around the room, one thing was clear to him. Someone was kept in here as a prisoner and based on the evidence he had been able to gather that person was human and not a monster that went bump in the night.  He shook his head as one of the forensics team raised her head, “Agent Henriksen, I think I have something.” She held up a piece of chestnut brown hair that was about 6 inches long. “I don’t think this hair belonged to whoever was kept in this room.”

Victor nodded, “Get it to the lab and we will see what we can find out.” He could only think of one person who had long chestnut brown hair. It was a hunter he had been looking for the past 3 years, Sam Winchester. He had long suspected foul play in the disappearance, based solely on Sam’s brother Dean’s response to his brother going missing. Victor had been keeping tabs over the years on Dean. Dean never did much besides killing anything evil thing he could find on his quest to find his brother and a few credit card scams which Victor made disappear.

Victor did take the liberty of installing a tracking devise on Dean’s Impala without his knowledge to keep tabs on the young man. Victor walked over to a desk in the basement and inside the top drawer there was a plain folder. He opened it and inside there were pictures. Victor looked at photos of young men and women getting tortured; most of them in the living room and some outside the cell. As he got to the end of the photos, his blood went cold. He stared into the vacant eyes of Sam Winchester chained to the floor of the cell.

Victor opened his cell phone and called his partner, Jody Mills. The phone rang three times, before she picked up, “This is Mills.”

Victor replied, “I need you to tell me where John Winchester and Dean Winchester are. I do not think they are together.”

Victor heard Jody sigh, “John Winchester is in Fairfield. It appears he is heading the sight of the murders. .. Um, Dean Winchester is in my neck of the woods. He is at Singer’s Auto Salvage in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It looks like he drove straight there from Fairfield yesterday.”

Victor nodded, “Okay thanks.” And he hung up the phone.

Victor walked outside the house and saw John Winchester walking up to the house flashing a fake FBI badge. He rolled his eyes and walked over to John. He hated it when hunters pretended to be something they are not. As he approached, John smiled, “Hi, I am Agent Roach with the FBI.”

Victor really wasn’t in the mood and he knew he couldn’t let John Winchester in the house to find photos of his son getting tortured. He decided that calling him out would be the best option, “I am Agent Henriksen. I believe your real name is John Winchester?”

John’s face paled as he looked at Victor he took a step back and smirked. “No, I don’t think so.”

Victor shook his head, “It is okay, Mr. Winchester. I have been meaning to talk to you anyway about the disappearance of your son.”

John crossed his arms, “Adam is with his mother and Dean is traveling around the country. Neither of them are missing.”  

Victor was silent for a moment as he processed. He wondered why John would not mention Sam. He wondered if John had something to do with this. Victor knew John had a connection to all three of the bodies found inside the house. Victor reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a worn picture of Sam, he always carried with him.

Victor held it up to John and asked carefully, “Do you know who this is?”

Victor watched as John’s eyes narrowed on the photo. He could see John was getting nervous and he watched John’s hand twitch. “Yes, that was my son, Sam. He is dead. Do you always carry around pictures of dead people?”

Victor smiled, “I have been working his missing person’s case for a couple years now. Dean Winchester reported him missing and to my knowledge Sam’s body has never been found. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find his body; would you?”

Victor knew it was a risk but it was one he had to take. He watched John’s gaze turned to anger and John clinched his fists. John was angry, “No, I don’t know where his body is.”

Victor nodded, “It is okay. Mr. Winchester, we are doing everything we can to find your son. Would you mind going down to the station with me?”

John gave him a look that could kill before nodding in agreement. Victor sighed in relief and walked John to his car and had him get into the backseat. He was sure today was going to be a long day.

Victor stepped away from the car once again and called Jody.

She answered on the first ring, “What do you got?”

Victor looked around, “I have John Winchester who just told me Sam Winchester is dead and I found photos of a very battered Sam inside the cabin. I know you are playing undercover sheriff in Sioux Falls. Would you mind paying your friend Bobby Singer a visit? I want you to find out everything you can about Dean Winchester.”

Mills replied, “On it now.”

++

Jody Mills pulled up Bobby’s house in her police car. She parked next to a black Impala. She looked at it briefly and nothing out of the ordinary stood out about it. She sighed and figured this was going to be a pointless visit. Jody had cleaned up a number of Bobby’s messes over the years. As the point of contact for a number of hunters, Bobby seemed to always be hiding something or sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. It created a lot of work for her which was why she worked undercover in Sioux Falls.

Jody pulled herself out of her car and walked up to the front door of Bobby’s house. Before she could knock Bobby answered the door. He looked tired and a little stressed, which told Jody that something was going on. She just didn’t know what.

Bobby gave her a half smile as he opened the door. He did not need Jody here right now. He did not want to have to explain Sam. He could explain Dean easily enough, but Sam would be difficult. Bobby decided to put on his game face, “Good Morning Sheriff Mills, how are you?”

Jody eyed him for a moment, “Cut the crap, Bobby.”

Bobby opened the door a little more realizing he wasn’t going to get anywhere by lying to Jody. She was his best defense against the authorities so he wanted to keep her on his side. Jody eyed Bobby as she stepped inside the house. She noticed blankets on the sofa. She walked further into the house and she saw Dean at the table with someone else with long brown hair hiding the man’s face.

Jody stepped back from the kitchen before Dean saw her and she turned to Bobby. She opted to keep the conversation casual for now. “I see your boy is visiting. Who is that with him?”

Bobby crossed his arms and stared at Jody in the eye for a moment. Then he closed his eyes as he spoke, “My other boy, Sam. It is a long story.”

Jody nodded, “I am glad to see Sam is alive.” She stepped forward into the kitchen. As soon as she stepped into the room her eyes locked with Dean’s eyes. He stood and blocked her view of Sam. It was fairly obvious to Jody that Dean was protecting Sam.

Bobby followed in behind Jody and saw the look on Dean’s face. He was ready for a fight. Bobby knew Dean would lay down his own life for Sam and he wasn’t going to let anyone take Sam away from him. Bobby spoke calmly, “It is okay, Dean. This is my friend, Jody. She is a sheriff here in town. She won’t hurt you or Sam.”

Dean nodded and stepped to the side. He reached out his hand to meet Jody’s hand. He wasn’t sure what to make of her. He hated cops and wasn’t keen on making friends with them now. After all, the cops never found his brother. He did.

Jody didn’t meet his hand. Her focus came on Sam. She brushed past Dean and knelt down in front of Sam. She watched as Sam turned his head away from her. She could see how tense he was but most of all she could see that he was beat to hell. Jodi reached out a hand and put it on Sam’s shoulder. He didn’t flinch or respond.

She softened her voice, “Sam, are you okay?”

Sam didn’t respond. He still didn’t know if it was okay to respond to random people. He didn’t want to upset these people. He felt somewhere inside of him that Dean wouldn’t hurt him but he didn’t know about this woman. Sam moved his arms to wrap around himself and he turned his head away from her and looked down at the floor. He didn’t know what to do or what to think. He was scared.

Dean replied nervously, “Sheriff, Sam is going through a difficult time right now and he doesn’t feel like talking.”

Jody took a deep breath. She didn’t know if Dean and Bobby were hurting Sam. She had no way to know for sure. All she did know is she had a responsibility to make sure Sam was safe. He was clearly hurt. Jody stood and turned back towards Dean and Bobby. She spoke very sternly, “What exactly happened to Sam? Don’t lie to me, because trust me, it will make things worse.”

Bobby and Dean exchanged looks for a moment. Then Bobby spoke, “Dean found Sam yesterday. He was being held by some other hunters. I don’t know what exactly they did to him, but as far as I can tell. They tortured him and they did something to him that caused him to literally not remember who he is.”

Jody nodded, she didn’t really understand why someone would do this to someone but she could see the sincerity in Bobby’s voice. She decided to trust her judgment on Bobby for the moment. Her main concern now was Sam. Jody looked back at Sam for a moment and then said quietly, “He needs a hospital that is the best place for him right now.”

Dean put up his hand in front of him, “No, if we do that than some doctor is just going to lock him away because his mind is fried. I lost Sam once because I suck at keeping him safe and I will not do it again.”

Jody smiled and said bluntly, “You’re the one that killed Roy, Walt, and Lee aren’t you?”

Dean balked at the question and responding quickly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jody locked her gaze on Dean, “One of my friends in the FBI is working that case, Dean. He asked me to come by here to find out about you, because he found evidence that Sam was there and your father telling him that Sam is dead. So I come out here expecting to find nothing. Instead, I find a very battered man that is non-verbal, who turns out to be Sam Winchester.”

Dean crossed his arms and glared at her. He honestly considered hitting her but he knew that wouldn’t help his case and he had a rule about not hitting humans. He shook his head, “Yes, I killed them. They had Sam locked in some sort of cell in the basement. Please don’t turn me in. I have to protect my brother.”

Jody nodded, “I am not going to turn you in or mention your admission to anyone. I can get you and Sam to some place safe. Sam can get medical treatment and you can be there the whole time. I promise, Dean.”

Dean glanced over at Bobby. He knew Sam probably did need a doctor. He had no idea what sort of drugs were running through his body and he had no idea what the withdrawal symptoms would be or how to help Sam through that. Still, he didn’t like the idea of going to an unknown place and being at the whim of a local sheriff.

Bobby looked away for a moment. He looked at Sam and back at Jody. He knew Jody had never steered him wrong and he prayed that she wouldn’t this time. Bobby patted Dean on the shoulder, “You should let Jody help the two of you. I will stay here for when your dad shows up. I..”

Bobby was cut off by Sam’s murmuring. “Dad hurts.. Dad hurts.. Dad hurts.” They all stared at Sam for a moment not really sure what to make of what Sam was saying. Dean knew his dad was a dick to him and Sam had witnessed that on a number of occasions. He also knew that someone who was with him when he was held prisoner insisted on being called Dad.  

Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a picture of him, Sam, and their father. It was taken a few months before Sam disappeared. Dean walked over to Sam and laid the picture down in front of Sam. There was some hesitation in his voice when he spoke, “Sam, is the person you are talking about in this picture?”

Sam looked at it for a moment and ran his fingers over it. He circled his finger around the picture of his father. He spoke softly, “That is dad. He visits me sometimes. It hurts when he visits.” Sam then ran his fingers over Dean’s face on the picture. “Dean.. You never hurt me.” Sam paused once more and moved over to the picture of himself. He ran his fingers over it and stared, “Is this person me?”

Dean moved over to Sam and sat down next to him. His heart was racing. He wanted to be crystal clear in what Sam had just told him. “Yes, Sam that is you.” Dean paused and he looked at Bobby for reassurance. “Sammy, are you talking about when Dad would come see us when we were kids? He was on the road a lot.”

Sam stared back at the photo for a moment, “No.” He didn’t elaborate. He could tell Dean was upset and he didn’t want Dean to hit him, so he kept his answers short.

Dean closed his eyes and spoke softly, “Then when, Sam. When did Dad visit you?”

Sam put his hands down on his lap and started twisting his hands together. He was scared. Everyone was staring at him and expecting something from him and he didn’t know what answer they wanted to hear. Sam started to cry because he didn’t want to get punished for giving the wrong answer. Sam thought for sure these people would already know the answers to the questions they were asking him. He didn’t know why they were putting him on the spot like this.

Jody spoke in a comforting tone after she noticed the tears rolling down Sam’s face. “It is okay, Sam. No one is going to hurt you. Just tell us when your Dad visited you?”

Sam wrapped his arms around his waist and barely whispered, “When I was with Master, but Dean killed my Master. I don’t know why Dean did that.”

Dean pull is arms on the table and rested his head in his hands. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He prayed that Sam was just out of it and their father didn’t really have anything to do with this. He knew that he couldn’t take the chance right now of having John around Sam. He would have to wait until Sam was in the right mind. Then he could figure it out and he wasn’t sure if he had it in him to kill his own father.  

Dean took a few deep breaths. “Okay Sheriff, I am going to do something I don’t do very often. I am going to trust you.” Dean turned and faced Bobby, “Do not tell my dad where we went.”

Bobby nodded, “Your secret is safe with me.”


	6. Someplace Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains references to rape.

Dean’s head hurt. He vaguely remembered leaving with Sheriff Mills and Sam. She insisted they take her car. Then he remembered meeting up with someone else. Dean remembered turning his back on the stranger and Sheriff Mills followed by his world going dark.

Dean slowly sat up to take in his surroundings. He was laying on a twin size bed with a thin blanket over him. The ceiling and walls were white. Dean sat up and realized he wasn’t wearing the same clothes. He was wearing something that looked like tan hospital scrubs. He swung his legs off the bed and noticed slip on shoes on the floor next to the bed. The thought of someone stripping him and redressing him made his stomach turn. But he couldn’t focus on himself right now. He had to make sure Sam was okay.

He looked around and close to him was another bed where Sam was. Dean went over and looked at Sam. He had an IV in one arm, a tube carrying oxygen going across his nose and monitors coming out from his chest. Dean could see Sam’s monitor screen. He was impressed with how steady everything was for Sam, but then Dean realized Sam wasn’t awake. He was unconscious.

Dean didn’t have a good feeling about this. He reached out his hand and squeezed Sam’s hand. It was then he noticed a white bracelet on his wrist. Dean lifted Sam’s arm so he could read it _, ‘Winchester, Samuel ‘Sam’ DOB: 5/2/1983 Status: Hunter / Gifted Vessel’._ Dean shook his head. He had no idea what ‘gifted vessel’ meant on top of not knowing where they were.

Dean sighed and put down Sam’s arm gently. He looked at his own bracelet next, _‘Winchester, Dean DOB: 1/24/1979 Status: Hunter / Non-Gifted Vessel’._ Dean shook his head again. He knew he had to figure out what the whole vessel thing was and he had to figure out why Sam was listed as gifted. Dean stared at Sam for a moment and thought of what that could mean. Sam was smarter than he was and Sam had a more complex sense of right and wrong. Dean thought that maybe it was the way that Sam saw the world that made him gifted.

Dean turned and looked around the room to take in his surroundings. There were no windows where they were. Across the room, he saw 3 doors. The one against the corner of the wall was closed. The door near the center of the far wall was open and appeared to lead to a bathroom. On the adjacent wall, there was an open door that lead somewhere.

Dean looked at Sam and looked at the door for a moment. He was unsure if he should leave Sam or not. He bit down on his bottom lip and decided that he wouldn’t go far. He would get survey his surroundings and head back to Sam. Dean knew any escape attempt was on hold until Sam got back up on his feet, even then he didn’t know if Sam would have it together enough to actually help in an escape.

He walked out of the room cautiously and was surprised. It didn’t lead to any method of escape. Instead, it lead to what looked like a living room on one side with a TV and a book case. There was a black sofa and chair. It looked rather industrial. On the other side of the room, Dean saw a small kitchen complete with a stove and refrigerator a joining an open space with a table and four chairs.

Like the bedroom, there were no windows in this area. Dean walked over to the door which would lead to out of the living room and he noticed there was a 12 by 12 window on the door but the door was locked from the outside. Dean peered out the window and saw across the hall a label on the door that said ‘Quarantine 12’. Then he saw a soldier pass by.

He pulled back from the door and he had a sinking feeling. They were trapped in some sort of quarantine area possibly by the government. He had no weapons and they were literally sitting ducks for whatever came after them next. They were Winchesters so something would come after them.

Dean stepped back away from the door. He sat down in one of the chairs at the table and he put his head in his hands. He wondered how he could be so stupid to trust Sheriff Mills and now he wasn’t sure if they were worse off or not. He had a feeling this was worse than being with Bobby, but probably not worse than whatever Sam was subjected to with the hunters who held him. Dean sighed as he reminded himself it could be worse.

Dean barely registered the door to their quarantine apartment opening. He lifted his head and watched as a doctor walked into the room with a soldier next to him. Dean noted that there was another soldier outside of the room watching. He knew now wasn’t the time to fight them, but it was clear they weren’t taking any chances with him.

Dean stood and crossed his arms as he looked at the doctor. The doctor was a thin white man with greying hair. Dean asked with all the arrogance he could find inside himself, “Where am I and what did you do to my brother?”

Dean watched as the doctor smiled lightly. He wanted to punch the smile off the doctor’s face, but he reframed himself. Now was not the time to get angry he told himself. The doctor spoke in a calm and collected tone, “Mr. Winchester, you and your brother are somewhere that doesn’t exist. It is a classified area.” The doctor paused as Dean gave him a ‘you have to be kidding me look’.

When Dean closed his eyes to center himself the doctor started speaking again. “Sam is going to be okay. His memory problems are the most pressing issue. He had a fairly complex cocktail of drugs in his system to cloud his memory. We are going giving him some medication to counter the effects of the drugs. His memory is still going to be cloudy and have gaps but he should be more coherent when he wakes up in a few hours.”

Dean nodded his head and was relieved that maybe he could have a real conversation with Sam sometime soon. He didn’t know what they would talk about. He figured anything would be good. He just wanted Sam to know it was him; really know it was him and give him a hug. Dean however knew the doctor had more to say. He looked up at the doctor and asked bluntly, “What else?”

Dean watched as the doctor bit down on his lip and sighed, “Mr. Winchester, the physical injuries on your brother were extensive, but not life threatening. There is evidence of past broken bones which were not set back into place properly. Once he gets more strength, we will probably have to break the bone again and reset it into place. Currently, he does have some fairly large bruises on his body with will heal overtime. He does have 3 bruised ribs. None of the cuts on his body required stitches but we are watching them for infection. His body is weak right now so I did put him on antibiotic just as a precautionary measure.” The doctor paused and motioned to the chair, “Mr. Winchester, you may want to sit down for the rest of this.”

Dean eyed the doctor for a moment. Before he stepped back and sat down in the chair. He didn’t really want to listen to the doctor, but common sense was telling him to hold back. Right now, Dean knew he had to listen and later he could plan for an escape.

The doctor took a step towards Dean and his voice changed. It was softer and gentler, “Mr. Winchester, your brother shows evidence of repeated sexual assaults. Based on what little I know about how he was found, I think we can both agree it was a sexual assault and not a consensual activity he was engaging in.” The doctor paused once more before continuing. “He has some anal scarring and some new tears. He didn’t require stitches but we did put some ointment on it for him to help with the pain. He also had some bruising around his scrotum and I saw scarring around the area. Right now, I am not sure if they did a vasectomy or if the scarring is from some other type of torture he was subjected too. I suggest we do a sperm count once he is feeling better and once we can obtain his consent for that. I did notice some stretching of his urethra when he urinated earlier I did not notice blood, but I suspect that he had had small objects inserted up his urethra in the past.”

Dean could feel himself going flush. This was way more information than he cared to know about Sam, but he knew he had to know. The sexual assault didn’t surprise him. He already figured that. These hunters who had him were sick. What did surprise him was that they would hurt his family jewels. Dean knew his own jewels were important and prized. Most of all he was worried about Sam, not being able to have kids someday. He knew Sam always wanted that normal life and having 2.5 children was part of that.

Dean took a few deep breathes and calmed himself before looking at the doctor, “Okay, when can we get out here?”

The doctor frowned. “I am sorry, Mr. Winchester. You and your brother are to stay here until further notice but don’t worry. Nothing supernatural can get to you here with the exception of angels.”

Dean rolled his eyes. He was locked up in a secret government area with a doctor who believed there were angels. He was now certain he was not safe from demons or anything else supernatural. Dean cocked his head and said coldly to the doctor, “There is no such things as angels.”

The doctor shook his head and turned to walk out of the room, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that if I were you, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean stood as the doctor started to leave, “Wait, what does gifted and non-gifted vessel mean on our ID bracelets mean?” Dean was fairly certain he was going to get some crazy talk but he had to be know what exactly the government could possibly think they were.

The doctor paused and turned back towards Dean, “Gifted mean the person is special. In your brother’s case he has visions pertaining to one particular demon’s actions. You do not share those gifts. We know from your blood lines that you are both vessels belonging to archangels. It is rare for the bloodlines to line up correctly for that to happen.”

Dean shook his head. This was crazy talk. He decided not to argue the whole angel and special gift thing with the doctor. It would be pointless and he kept reminding himself that now was not the time to fight. He had to wait for Sam. He couldn’t lose Sam.

Instead Dean nodded and felt defeat, “Okay, just please don’t hurt my brother.”

The doctor smiled, “I wouldn’t dream of it. No one is going to hurt Sam or do experiments on him. It is generally perceived as a bad idea to upset the big man upstairs if you know what I mean.”

Dean shook his head and wondered how being locked up in a quarantine apartment was not upsetting to God. He didn’t believe in God, because if there was a God then why was the world crawling with evil. He sighed and thought to himself that evil comes in many forms; not just in the form of monsters and demons, but also humans. Sometimes, Dean forgot there was anything good in the world. Finding evil always seemed to be easy for him but finding good was always difficult and fleeting.

Dean’s internal thought was broken by the sound of the doctor and the soldier leaving the room. He stared up at the ceiling and murmured to himself, “I guess this is home for a while.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Referenced child abuse

Five hours have passed and Sam hadn’t so much as flinched. Dean felt helpless staring at his little brother from the other side of the room. He wasn’t sure what to do, moreover he didn’t know how to fix this. He was fairly certain that this situation was bad and he just had to figure out if Sam is in a better situation now or a worse situation. Dean didn’t like the idea of being in a secret government quarantine zone like a trapped animal. He had images running through his head of secret government experiments which didn’t help him maintain his cool. The last thing he wanted was for Sammy to become a science project.

Part of Dean felt like he failed. He found Sam and he rescued him from being captive. Only to become a captive of another unknown enemy with more money to do as they pleased. Dean sighed knowing, if there was one thing he was good at it was failing to protect his little brother. He leaned back against the wall and wondered if they would ever get out of here or even see the light of day again. He found Sam in a windowless cell and now he found himself in a windowless prison with his brother.

Dean wondered if it was better that they were together or if it was worse. If they were separate they could each hold out hope of rescue; but together they would find out together if escape was truly hopeless. He didn’t hold much stock in his father coming to his aide, especially if he had anything to do with what happened to Sam. Dean figured that even if his father did come; John would try to kill Sam and Dean knew aside from the knives he found in the kitchen he had nothing to defend himself with.

Dean heard the main door to their quarantine apartment open. He didn’t bother getting off his bed; he was comfortable and he wasn’t about to do anything to piss them off that could cause him to get taken away from Sam. He watched as a nurse came in with long sandy brown hair. She was probably in her late thirties but her beauty had not faded.

The woman carefully walked into the bedroom, knocking before she entered. She smiled over at Dean and reached out her hand. “Hi, my name is Kate. I am the nurse in charge of your brother’s care.”

Dean stared at her hand for a moment then studied her face before deciding on shaking her hand. He reached out and gave her a light handshake. He didn’t feel the need for a manly strong handshake. Dean figured it was better for them to think he wasn’t a threat. He let his hand fall and took his gaze over to Sam. He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, “So do you have any idea when my brother is going to wake up?”

Kate smiled softly at Dean and walked over to Sam. She check the monitors and took his blood pressure without saying a word. Dean wanted to tell her to get away from Sam, but he didn’t. He kept his mouth shut even when she ran her fingers through his hair. Kate turned back to Dean and started to walk out of the room before turning back. “Your brother will be fine. When he wakes up is entirely up to him.” She paused for a moment with her hand on the door frame curiosity getting the best of her. “Are you two John Winchester’s boys?”

Dean shot her a look stating clearly that she needs to mind her own business but then he relaxed his facial features. He had to think of the end goal here which was for Sam to wake up and then escape. He took a deep breath and glanced over at Sam before looking back over at Kate, “Yeah, we were… Look my dad isn’t my favorite subject in the world so I would rather.. Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Kate smiled softly, “I knew John before I started working here a few years ago. He was a good man.”

Dean shook his head and didn’t look back up at her, “Is that what they are calling him these days?” Dean caught Kate recoil and the smile fade from her face. He sighed and decided to restate himself. “I don’t want to get into family business with you, because I don’t know you and you clearly have no idea what sort of person my father is.”

Kate moved back into the room and sat down on the bed next to Dean. He was a little taken aback by her closeness and he moved over slightly on the bed away from her. He wasn’t sure what her motive was, but if she knows his father and if his father was in on what was happening to Sam, it would mean that he landed himself and Sam in the middle of the lion’s den.

Kate stared at Dean for a moment then changed her gaze to Sam.  She spoke distantly, “He never told me about Sam. He only talked about having one son, Dean. He loved you. John had some crazy talk about a demon killing his wife. I thought he was full of it, only I found out he wasn’t crazy. He apparently did a good job of upsetting things he didn’t kill. That is why I took a job here. The monsters couldn’t find me or my son.”

Dean shook his head and thought to himself about what an ass his father is. He felt the sarcastic reply coming out from in between his lips before he had a chance to cut off the words. “Good to know, one of my dad’s booty calls is Sam’s nurse.”

Kate stared at him for a moment and gave him a nervous smile, “I’m sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have said anything. It is just I didn’t expect to see you here and I never imagined you had another brother.”

Dean stood up and walked over to Sam’s bed. He wrapped his hand around Sam’s hand. It felt cool to the touch. He leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead. He rested his forehead on Sam for a moment before looking back over a Kate. He almost looked small but there was some resolve in his voice. “Sam and I grew up together up until he got kidnapped. I was always responsible for him ever since my dad put him in my arms to carry him out of our burning house when I was 4. I don’t know when he woke up and decided to hate Sam. I could never hate Sam though. He is my baby brother and no matter what, I will love him and protect him.

“You would have loved to hear about Sam. He was smart. We moved around a lot, but he was still a geek. Sam could figure anything out and he loved to the library. He wanted a normal life and he wanted to go to college. I wanted that for him but I never got a chance to tell him that and he never got a chance to break free.” Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, “He was just as good as hunter as me, if not better. He was as good a shot, as strong as me, he could fight, and my dad always liked to make him bait so he knew how to get himself out of a bad situation better than me.”

Kate stared a Dean for a moment and wondered what other secrets the father of her son had. Dean was not the young man John described to her all those years ago.  She wondered if John had just misrepresented Dean to her or if Dean had changed over the years. She took a deep breath and asked, “What is your brother, now?”

Dean didn’t look at her. He kept brushing his hair and spoke softly, “Sam has been out of it since I found him. He was only out of there a day before Sheriff Mills had us go with her to get help for Sam. She or whoever she was with drugged us and took us here. I don’t know how much time has passed since then.” Dean paused with his hand on his brother’s cheek. “I don’t expect Sam to be the same person he was before he got kidnapped when he wakes up. I don’t know what he will be like. But I hope he forgives me. It took me way too long to find him.”

Kate stood and stepped towards the doorway, “Dean, I am sure Sam knows you did everything you could. You should get some rest for when he does wake up. He is going to need you.” Kate walked out of the room and stepped into the hallway and listened as the soldier locked the door to Sam and Dean’s quarantine area. She closed her eyes and was thankful John was never in her son’s life, but at the same time she couldn’t help but feel Dean’s pain. She knew Dean wasn’t telling her everything about his childhood, nor was she expecting him too. 

Kate said a little prayer in the hopes that Sam would wake up soon and that the boys would be okay.

++

Two days had passed since Bobby let the boys leave with Sheriff Mills. He regretted the decision almost immediately. She wouldn’t tell him where the boys were and only commented by saying they were safe. Dean wasn’t answering his phone and it was rolling straight to voicemail. He was worried. Bobby knew Dean would check in with him if for no other reason than to check on his prized car which was still parked out in front of his house.

Bobby wasn’t sure which way to turn or who to trust. He did know that regardless of Sam’s half-lucid ramblings he wasn’t convinced John would do anything to hurt Sam like that. He knew John could been abusive towards his boys, but Bobby’s dealings with John told him that Dean had always been the focus of that abuse. He figured his best hope was to trust John so they could work together on finding the boys or at least that was his plan as he watched John’s truck roll into his lot in the early evening hours.

Bobby stepped out on his front porch to greet the elder Winchester. He put up his hand to wave as John put his truck into park. He took a deep breath and hoped John wouldn’t kill him for loosing track of his boys. Bobby put on the brave face as he watched John step out of the truck. He looked tired and worried. Bobby could understand that given the situation.

John spoke first as he closed the door to his truck. “Bobby, where is Dean?” Bobby was taken aback by tone John carried and the fact that Sam was not the person he wanted to see. Sam had been missing for 3 years and Bobby would think that making sure Sam is okay would be on the top of his priority list.

Bobby shook his head at John, “Dean’s not here. He left with the Sheriff and Sam two days ago. Sam needed to be in a hospital.”

John nodded as if to understand as he walked up the stairs to Bobby’s house, “What hospital are they at?”

Bobby dropped his head and stared at his feet, “I don’t know. The sheriff won’t tell me. I know they aren’t in any the hospitals around here and Dean isn’t answering his phone.”

John sighed and sat down on the front step, “Great, Gordon is going to be pissed.” John ran his hands over his face before resting his elbows on his legs and covered his face with his hands.

Bobby gave him a confused look and took a step back. Bobby didn’t like Gordon Walker. He was shady and he operated outside of the realm of ethical hunter behavior. Bobby learnt long ago to steer clear of Gordon. But what Bobby didn’t understand was why Gordon would care where Sam and Dean were. He felt himself reach of the gun in the small of his back as he asked John, “Why would Gordon care?”

John looked up shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter. I just need to get Dean away and Sam back to where he belongs before this whole thing blows up more than it already has.”

Bobby gripped hold of the gun but didn’t pull it out yet. He didn’t want to overreact to what John was saying but it didn’t sound right and it certainly didn’t sound good. Bobby took a deep breath and hoped he worded this right, “Don’t you think the boys need to be together right now? I don’t know the details of what happened to Sam. Hell, I don’t think Dean knows. But I saw the marks on that boy and I saw the look his eyes. Getting past this isn’t going to be easy for Sam or Dean. I would imagine it would be easier if they had each other.”

John glared at Bobby for a moment, “They are my boys, not yours. Dean should not be anywhere near Sam. I don’t want Dean to end up like Sam but if I don’t get Sam back to where he needs to be than that is exactly what is going to happen.”

Bobby pulled his gun out from behind him slowly and pointed it a John. His hand was steady despite the drinks he had earlier in the evening. His voice was stern as he spoke, “I think you have some explaining to do.”

John stood with his hands up and Bobby led him into the house and down into his basement. Bobby threw John into his panic room and locked the door behind him. He picked the panic room for a reason. He could leave John in there to rot without having to touch him. Bobby wasn’t stupid. He knew John had taught Dean and Sam how to defend themselves and he knew the boys would be able to get themselves out of anything Bobby had except the panic room.

Bobby spoke to John from the other side of the door, “If you want so much as water, you better start explaining, because trust me I don’t care if I leave you locked in there until you die.”

Bobby heard John’s hands slam on either side of the panic room door. He listened as John growled, which he found a little dramatic but this was a Winchester so he let it go. After what seemed like an eternity he heard John say, “Fine.”

Bobby turned back towards the door, “Okay then let me hear it.”

Bobby could hear the strain in voice as he began to speak, “Sam is an abomination. He killed my wife. Sam was 3 when I found out the little shit was responsible for it. If he was never born than that demon wouldn’t have killed Mary and he wouldn’t have turned Sam into some sort of monster. That was all Sam’s fault and I hate him for that.

“I stopped caring for Sam then, but Dean wouldn’t let Sam go. He always protected Sam and supported Sam. Do you know what Dean did to make sure Sam had food and clothes growing up? Do you know what that little freak made Dean do?”

Bobby closed his eyes and reminded himself to breath. He knew he had to stay calm. He would have plenty of time to kill John Winchester, right now, was not the time. “No John, I don’t. Last time, I checked, Dean is only 4 years older than Sam. It would have been your job to take care of them both.”

Bobby listened to John huff out a breath from behind the door, “Bobby, you have no idea what you’re talking about. It is not my job to take care of that freak. The only reason I didn’t kill him outright is because I needed him to study so I could find the other ones like him. But keeping him alive did not mean I had to coddle him and love him.” John paused, “I would get so angry at Dean for starving himself to feed Sam. I used to beat the hell out Dean for that. He should not have been starving himself to feed a monster. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. Dean started whoring himself out when he a preteen. Sam caused Dean to become a whore. I didn’t find out about it until about 5 years ago when I caught Dean. I should have killed Sam then.”

Bobby leaned his head against the wall. He angry but he wasn’t angry with either Sam or Dean. He was angry at himself for not seeing it and for not stepping. He knew he should have offered to take the boys from John. Bobby knew John hit Dean. He’d seen the marks on Dean, but he was never able to get Dean to admit to anything. Bobby sighed with the knowledge he could have helped the boys but instead he stood by and did nothing to stop John.

Bobby took a deep breath before replying to John, “You know, John, if you didn’t want Sam. I would have gladly taken him. Hell, I would have taken and cared for both of them. I love those boys, John.” Bobby paused for a moment, “But you already knew that, so why don’t you finish explaining yourself while I decide if I am going to kill you or not.”

John sighed, “I had been working with Gordon to find out what I could about the little freaks like Sam. We had most of them identified about 3 years ago. Gordon intended on killing them all to prevent them from fulfilling their purpose. But Gordon had an idea and one that I happened to like.

“When Gordon found a vampire that hadn’t fed yet. He would change them back, but he wouldn’t let them go. He would hand them off to Lee who would break them and train them to be a slave. Once they were broken and trained they were sold. The sell price for someone like Sam would be high and if he was broken and trained. He could be controlled.”

Bobby felt his hand start to shake. He had made up his mind; he was going to kill John. But he needed to finish getting information out of him first.

John continued with the same amount of anger in his voice, “I took Gordon up on his offer to break Sam. Lee trained Sam and ended up purchasing Sam because he liked him. I got 20,000 for Sam which seemed like a fair trade for that freak. Dean never knew and Dean just couldn’t let it go that Sam was gone. I tried to get Dean off of it but he left me to go look for the freak.

“Gordon doesn’t know Dean did the deed on Lee, Roy, and Walt but he does know Sam is missing. I want to keep it that way, but for that to happen. They can’t be together. Gordon will take Sam back and resell him. He will also take Dean and do the same to him if Dean is with Sam.”

Bobby could feel the tears stinging his eyes. He wasn’t big on crying but Sam was like a son to Bobby. He considered Dean and Sam his boys just as much as John did. He realized that he failed both Dean and Sam badly, but the idea of Sam being sold like a piece of meat broke his heart. He would rather be drug into the deepest part of hell than ever have anything like that happen to Sam or Dean.

Bobby closed his eyes and though of the good times with Sam. He thought of his smile and laugh. He wondered if he was ever going to get to see those things ever again. Bobby felt his heart stop beating for a moment when he realized that it was possible Gordon and his henchmen already had their hands on the boys.

Bobby knew he had to go back to Sheriff Mills. He knew he had to come clean with her in the hopes that she would relent and tell him where the boys were. He also knew he could use her help in getting Gordon and his henchmen out of the picture. She could go the legal route which in this case would probably be more effective.

 

 


	8. Waking Up

Sam woke up in darkness. The only light he could make out was a dim light from above his head. He didn’t know where he was. His mind was a little fuzzy and he wasn’t sure what was going on. Sam stared up at the ceiling and trying to put together his thoughts. He had the memories of his life before his Master, but that seemed like nothing more than clips of a movie from someone else’s life. It didn’t seem like it was truly his life to Sam.

He remembered his time with his Master, how he was treated, and what he was forced to do. Sam remembered struggling at first then eventually forgetting how to struggle, but regardless of his struggle or acceptance he was treated the same. He remembered feeling relief in the darkness because he knew nothing was going to happen to him and he felt safe when he was alone with his Master.

Inside Sam, his life with his Master was the only thing that seemed real but he remembered someone killing his Master or at least he thought someone did. He remembered being taken away and begging to be taken back. Sam wondered if the darkness meant he was back. He felt his heart still and a pain gain force in his chest. He was scared because if his Master was dead than he would be given to someone else.

Sam knew his Master always talked about people crueler than him and how Sam should be thankful to be with him. Sam wondered that is what will happen now. He knew at the very least he would be punished for leaving without permission. He felt his breathing increase and he couldn’t control it. Sam was panicking. He hated the feeling of getting punished. It reminded of what he was to his Master, worthless.

He sat up slightly in the bed to try to breathe better only to hear movement in the bed across the room. Sam’s vision blurred as fear overtook him and a brighter light took over the room. He crumpled his fingers into sheets of the bed and tried to close his eyes from the light. He knew the punishment was coming now that the light was on.

Just as Sam started to gasp for air, he felt hands on either side of his face. He heard a gruff voice that was familiar from his life before, “Sammy, look at me. Calm down, you’re safe.”

Sam didn’t look at the man though. He was trained better than that. Sam remembered how they used to trick him with things like this in the early days of his training. Someone would come in and pretend to be rescuing him and tell Sam to look at them. Sam remembered that every time as soon as he looked up that is when the beatings started.

Sam kept his eyes down and continued to gasp. He felt the man handle his face and it was clear that this man was trying to search out his eyes.  That notion terrified Sam, because it meant that this person had every intent to punish him more and was not going to relent until Sam failed to obey his training.

Sam heard the man speak again, “Sam, Sammy? I know you can hear me. I need you to calm down. No one is going to hurt you.”

Sam tried to pull away with those words because they had always carried such false promises. It always carried the promise of pain. Then he realized that his man was calling him Sam, which was different. Even during his training no one called him by the name he was given before. He was led to believe he didn’t have a name and that he didn’t deserve a name.

He started to slow down and control his breathing with the thought that maybe it was going to be okay. Maybe if he calmed down; it would be okay. Sam swallowed hard as his breathing slowed. He felt one of the hands on his face let go and slide down to his hand and squeezed it. The man’s over hand was brushing lightly over the side of his face and through his hair. It felt weird to Sam because he wasn’t used to getting any sort of affection from anyone.

Sam looked over at his hand and saw a white bracelet on it. He thought that was weird, until he realized he was wearing clothes. Sam felt fear rising in him again, because he knew clothes were never allowed on him. He wondered what that meant and what sort of punishment he would get for it. Sam closed his eyes and remembered the man that killed his Master had dressed him.

The man spoke again. His gruff voice was softer this time, “Good Sammy, you’re calming down. That’s good. Can you say something? Do you know who I am?”

Sam bit down on his lip. He knew he wasn’t supposed to speak but he didn’t know if this was a trick. Sometimes, they wanted him to speak. Sometimes, the people his Master brought in wanted to hear him say something for their pleasure. Sam wasn’t sure but if his Master was dead and there was no one to guide him. He had no one to turn to for guidance.

Sam decided not to respond and for minutes all Sam could hear was the beating of his heart. He waited with his eyes closed for the first blow to come. He realized that no matter what he did; punishment was coming. The only thing he could hope for is it would be light if he remembered his training.

He was startled to hear the man speak again. This time, the man sounded desperate and sounded like he was pleading, “Sam, it’s me. I’m Dean, your big brother. My name is Dean. Please tell me your remember me? Please tell me anything. Anything Sam, just talk to me.”

Sam thought for a moment back into the memories that did not feel like his. He remembered a Dean. He remembered Dean taking care of him and loving him. He also remembered fighting and arguing with Dean. Sam wondered why he would argue or fight with anyone, but he let that thought slip. He let his mind wander to his first days with his Master. He remembered begging for Dean to save him and he remembered what his Master said, _‘Dean isn’t coming for you. Your daddy is making sure of that. But if Dean ever did get close to you, if you ever do hear his voice again, just know, he is going to be just like you. He is just as worthless as you.’_

Sam opened his eyes at that memory. If this was Dean, he had to warn Dean. He had to tell Dean to leave. He knew punishment was coming but that was secondary to making sure Dean was safe. He didn’t want this for Dean. In his memories, Dean wasn’t worthless. He was more than that. Sam pulled his head up and looked at the man standing over him. He man’s eyes were rimmed in red, but beneath that he saw green eyes. Sam studied his face for a moment and realized that this was in fact Dean. It was the person he once begged to rescue him.

Sam watched Dean get a slight smile on his face as their gazes met and the word, “Sammy,” slipped through his lips.

Sam took a deep breath and focused on Dean. He had to warn Dean regardless of the consequences. His voice was shaky, “Dean? You can’t be here. Master will hurt you. He told me he will hurt you.” Sam felt his eyes wander around the room as he started to talk faster, “Dad, Dad is in on it. He sold me to Master. He’ll do the same to you if you get near me or try to rescue me. Master told me that they will hurt you. Please Dean, go.”

Dean took in what Sam was saying for a moment and wondered how he was going to explain that they were both trapped in some government quarantine area that doesn’t exist while trying to reassure him they are safe. Dean wasn’t really convinced they were safe, but there was no way he was going to tell Sam that. He understood Sam’s reaction to seeing him once his head was clearer because he would have same reaction if he was in Sam’s place.

Dean sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Sam. He held Sam in a tight hug and pulled his head into his chest. He rocked Sam back and forth murmuring quietly, “No one is going to hurt me, Sam. No one is going to hurt you anymore, I promise.” Anytime Sam tried to protest, Dean shushed him and said softly, “I am not leaving you. You’re my baby brother and I love you more than anything.”

Slowly as Dean rocked Sam in his arms, Sam started to break down. Tears started to run down his face as he started to sob. He didn’t even know why he was crying. Part of him was crying because he knew his Master was dead. Part of him was crying because Dean found him and it was finally over. Part of him was crying because he didn’t know what to do without anyone telling him what to do.

Dean didn’t ask why Sam was crying. He knew there was a reason, but he was just happy Sam was awake. He was happy that Sam sounded at least halfway coherent. He didn’t want to push Sam for answers for the million questions he had. He also didn’t want this moment to turn into more of chick flick moment than it already had, but right now he wouldn’t protest if it did.  

Dean didn’t hear the door to their apartment open and Kate walk in. She was coming to check on Sam after his heart monitor started to show a different irregular pattern. She stopped in the doorway to the room. Kate couldn’t see Sam’s face, but she could hear his chocked out sobs. She couldn’t make out the words Dean was quietly and lovingly speaking to him.

She didn’t want to interrupt the moment, but she had a job to do. Kate slowly crossed into the room and turned off the monitor. Dean looked over at her through his weary eyes. He looked tired. Dean didn’t say anything to her before turning his attention back to Sam. She smiled slightly at the boys. Kate reached out and touched Dean’s shoulder. She wanted to get their attention, but she didn’t want to startle either of them.

Dean looked back at her while shushing Sam. Kate looked away and spoke off into the corner of the room, “I need to check Sam’s blood pressure and make sure everything is okay.”

Dean nodded at her and he looked down at Sam as he repositioned himself slightly, “Sammy, this is Kate. She is your nurse. She isn’t going to do anything to hurt you. She just wants to check your blood pressure and stuff.”

Kate watched as Sam shook his head ‘no’. Kate knew Sam had been kidnapped and drugged, but she didn’t know anything beyond that. It wasn’t her job to pry but she wanted too. Kate listened to Sam’s strained voice, “No Dean, don’t leave.”

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead. His voice was gentle and reaffirming, “Sammy, I am not going anywhere. I will be right here and I will hold your hand the whole time if you want me too. I will even tell Kate to leave us alone if you want me too. Just tell me what you want.”

Kate watched in silence as Sam peered up at Dean. He didn’t look like the young man he was. He looked like a frightened child. It made Kate wonder what horrors he faced. She watched as Sam pulled on Dean’s arm. Dean reached his arm down and wrapped it around Sam’s hand. He held it tightly as Dean eased away from Sam. Dean looked up and nodded at Kate.

Kate spoke to Sam telling him everything she was doing step by step. She wasn’t sure he was listening. Sam kept his head turned away and his hand held on tightly to Dean’s hand. Kate was surprised at how docile Sam was. He was clearly uncomfortable but he didn’t try to fight her or pull away. She unhooked the heart monitor before she was done checking Sam over.  She told Sam before leaving that he can get up and walk around, but to put the oxygen back on when he was in bed and she explained to Dean how to move the IV stand.

++

Bobby knew that having the boys go with Sheriff Mills was a mistake. It wasn’t the silence of not hearing from the boys that made him sure. It was the fact that he was drugged by her and when he woke up he had no idea what was going on or where he was. All he knew was he was strapped to a wheelchair with a hood over his head. He didn’t know where is was being wheeled too but he had a gut feeling it isn’t good.

The chair stopped rolling after a few sharp turns. Then the hood was removed from his head. He looked around and saw two soldiers standing in front of him. One of them smiled at Bobby, “Hey, you’re awake.” Bobby could not understand the excited tone on the young man’s face. But he was relieved that the other man had unstrapped him from the wheelchair.

Bobby rubbed his wrists and looked at the man. He asked tentatively, “Where am I?”

The soldier straightened and shrugged, “That is classified.” The soldiers both turned after that comment and left the room.

Bobby heard as they locked the door behind them. Aggravated Bobby let out a shallow, “Balls.” Bobby was certain that finding the boys just got a little more difficult.


	9. Facing the Charges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets interrogated.
> 
> Dean and Sam find out a little more about where they are.

Victor Hendrickson stood outside an interrogation room waiting patiently, well semi-patiently. He knew what he was about to do wouldn’t be easy but it was one of those things that had to be done and as much as the hunting community thought they were professional liars. He knew he was a much better liar and he was going to take full advantage of that in a few moments.

A short redhead approached him with a folder and slapped it to his chest, “Here are the new and improved pictures you asked for.”

Hendrickson grabbed on the folder looking at the pictures for a moment. He figured these pictures would get the point across just fine. He smiled down at the redhead, “Thanks Charlie.”

Charlie shook her head, “No problem, but just so you know altering the cell phone records took more effort than this. Who are these guys anyways?”

Hendrickson knew he couldn’t answer that and Charlie’s curiosity was innocent. Instead he skirted the question. “No one you have to worry yourself with.”  Hendrickson turned and opened the door to the interrogation room.

Inside the room seated behind a table was John Winchester. He wasn’t restrained. Hendrickson had insisted on that, but he did go through the trouble of making sure John couldn’t just slip out unnoticed. Hendrickson knew firsthand how easily an experienced hunter would find the most unlikely opening and use it to escape police custody. In this case, even if John managed to get out of the room. He wouldn’t get far. They never do from where they are at.

John eyes Hendrickson from the other side of the table. Hendrickson sits down with a sigh and he put the folder on the table. He rests his hand on top of the folder. He purposefully looks at the folder for a moment before moving his gaze up to meet John’s gaze. He speaks with a softness in his voice that he knows John Winchester does not deserve, “Mr. Winchester, I know this must be a confusing time for you and I am afraid I am not here with good news.”

John eyed Hendrickson for a moment. He was fairly certain the bad news was they found some sort of evidence linking him to Sam. He just hoped Sam knew enough to keep his mouth shut like he was trained, but John knew with Dean’s influence. It was just a matter of time before Sam answering any question that spilled out of Dean’s mouth and that was going to be bad. John cleared his throat, “Okay, what you have for me?”

Hendrickson nodded his head, he opened his folder and pulled out a school photo of Adam Mulligan from 5 years ago. He tapped on the picture. “Do you know who this is?”

John looked at the picture for a moment. He knew who it was. He had always made a point to check on Adam and Kate, but never bothered to make contact. John never wanted to drag them into the life. He wanted them to have a normal life free of monsters and demons. But five years ago they just disappeared liked ghosts in the wind. He tried to find them but came up with nothing.

Hesitantly John replied, “Yes, that is my son, Adam.”

Hendrickson nodded, “I know, Mr. Winchester. Adam and his mother disappeared 5 years ago. We suspect foul play. We think we are getting close to recovering him.”

John’s eyes shot up, he had never truly considered anyone taking his son. Adam was innocent in everything that happened. John asked an honest question, “Do you think he is alive?”

Hendrickson shook his head and said solemnly, “We are doing everything we can Mr. Winchester.” He knew Adam was alive and well without a scratch on him. In fact, Adam was within a mile of John, but he wasn’t going to tell John any of that.

Hendrickson shifted in his chair because it was time to actually get this interrogation stated. Hendrickson placed his hand back over the folder and spoke calmly, “Mr. Winchester, I am going to show you a couple pictures of young people who are deceased. I know this is going to be difficult for you, but I am going to need you to identify the person in the picture if you are able.”

Hendrickson pulled a photo out of the folder and sat it on the table. It was a picture of Sam’s face. His face was pale and his lips were blue with death or at least it was made to look that way. His mouth was open slightly. Sam’s eyes stared off into nothingness. A bruise around his neck as visible. Strangulation was the cause of death. Hendrickson watched as John flinched in his seat.

John’s eyes shot up from Hendrickson and back to the picture. John didn’t honestly know what to think. He knew Dean would not do the deed no matter how messed up Sam was. This meant someone else got to Sam and Dean. John had a sinking feeling that inside that folder Hendrickson was going to pull out a photo of Dean. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to face that reality, but he knew he had very little choice.

John spoke in a shaky voice, he was upset. He wasn’t upset for Sam, but for what could have happened to Dean. “This is my son, Sam Winchester.” John paused before correcting, “Samuel, his name is Samuel. We just always called him Sam.”

Hendrickson flipped the picture over on the table and gave John a sympathetic look, “I am sorry, Mr. Winchester.” He paused before pulling another photo out of the folder. This picture was of Dean. His face was covered in cuts and small streams of blood could be seen in his hair. His eyes were closed. Dean’s mouth was open slightly and stains of blood could be seen around the corners of his mouth. Like Sam around Dean’s neck bruising could been seen.

Hendrickson watched in silence as John picked up the photo of Dean and held it in his hands. John’s fingers pulsed around the photo and he was fighting back tears. Hendrickson knew that John was close to breaking. That was the whole point of this exercise. John’s voice was shaky and sounded like shattered glass, “Dean, my Dean… What happened? Who did this to him?”

Hendrickson closed his eyes and reminded himself to stay focused. He had faked plenty of deaths before but it never got easier looking a family member in the eye and telling them their children are dead and knowing it was a lie. Hendrickson swallowed, “I am sorry, Mr. Winchester. I am sure this must be a difficult time for you. We found Sam alive a few days ago locked inside the house in Fairfield where I first encountered you. Sam asked that we call Dean, which we did. Sam did not want to stay in the hospital and he left with Dean. Less than 12 hours later we found both of their bodies.”

Hendrickson paused to gauge John’s response. John just gripped the photo of Dean lost in his own thoughts. “Dean appeared to be on his way to South Dakota when they were murdered. I want you to know they both put up a fight. Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt your boys?”

Hendrickson knew the answer to that question, but it wouldn’t be an interrogation if you didn’t ask questions you already knew the answer too. John licked his lips before he spoke, “No, I don’t. I wish I knew though.”

Hendrickson pulled out another photo. This photo was not altered. It was one of Sam tied to a table getting tortured. His body was covered in whip marks which made his skin red with a mix a welts and blood. Sam’s head was tilted back and it was probable he was screaming in the picture. In the background of the picture there was shadows of men. Their faces barely recognizable, but John’s face was clear in the photo.

Hendrickson pushed the photo towards John. His tone was a little harsher, “Inside the cabin, we found some glamor shots of your son, Sam.” Hendrickson paused and tapped near John’s face on the photo, “I believe that is you in this picture. Would you mind telling me what is going on in this photo?”

John felt the color drain from his face. He remembered this night. It was early on, but Sam was so drugged he didn’t know who or where he was. He remembered how lost Sam looked as they all took turns hitting him and laughing.  Sam didn’t laugh though, Sam screamed and cried, but never laughed. He never asked them what they wanted. The only thing he asked is that they stop, which they didn’t do. John didn’t know why he did it or why he participated. It just made him feel better. It made him feel like he was getting to that thing that took away his wife, even if it wasn’t the thing that killed his wife. John told himself that it wasn’t the thing that killed his wife; it was just another monster the demon created.

John cleared his throat and tried to think up the best lie he could, “Sam had some weird kinks that I walked in on sometimes.”

Hendrickson nodded and flipped over the picture, “This photo was taken after he was reported missing by his brother, Dean. Are you saying Sam wasn’t missing for three years?”

That one caught John off guard and he started to stumble for words, “Look, two of my sons are dead and I have another one missing. What do you want from me?”

Hendrickson looked at John for a moment and decided to lay out his carefully constructed lie to him, “Sam and Dean Winchester were murdered. I know from cell phone records that Dean called you when he found Sam. They never made it to South Dakota. They were in Iowa at the same time as you. You are the only person that knew where they were. Did you murder your sons?”

John felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. He would have had no issue with murdering Sam because he was a monster. He was one of the things they hunted. The only reason he alive was because Lee was too fascinated with him to let him go, but Lee was dead. John knew that Gordon always held Dean over his head and told John that if Sam ever got away than Dean would in the same situation. He figured it was probable Gordon found out the boys location and killed them.

John gritted his teeth as he ran through the possible charges he could be facing in his head. No matter what they held him on related to this, John was certain he wasn’t getting out of jail or prison anytime soon. John said a simple, “No, I did not kill my sons. I admit, I treated Sam horribly, but I would never kill them.”

Hendrickson nodded and asked bluntly, “Did you torture, Sam?”

John closed his eyes and wondered to himself why he was admitting to this. But all he had to do pull a memory of Dean laughing over something to know why. Dean’s death was his fault. He deserved this fate. John gave a simple one word answer, “Yes.”

Hendrickson nodded and asked, “Did you know where Sam was after Dean reported him missing?”

John kept his eyes closed as he spoke, “Yes.”

“Did you tell Dean?”

“No.”

“Was Sam held against his will?”

“Yes.”

“How did you torture, Sam?”

John opened his eyes for a moment to reach Hendrickson’s gaze. He had the gaze of a hardened agent, but behind that John could see the humanity. John knew that Hendrickson did not see a monster when he looked at the pictures and tried to piece together what happened to Sam. John was certain that Hendrickson saw a frightened young man who deserved better from life. John knew if he was completely honest with himself, Sam did deserve a better life. But he knew he couldn’t admit that to himself, not now, not ever.

John replied in a near monotone voice after closing his eyes again, “We… ah.. whipped him a lot and hit him with various blunt objects. He was beaten with fists and kicked. We used a cattle prod on him sometimes. I preferred to hit him with a wire hanger or my belt.”

Hendrickson did not expect this sort of honesty from John. He figured there must be some deep seated guilt somewhere and Hendrickson fully intended on pulling on this strings as best he could. “Did you ever rape or sexually assault Sam?”

John shook his head ‘no’ as he eyes were clinched closed, “No, I didn’t. Some of the others did though. Sam used to have the strongest reaction to that sort of intrusion. He didn’t like it.”

Hendrickson perked an eyebrow, “You were there, while your son was getting raped and you did nothing to stop it?”

John answered under his breath, “Yes.”

“Why?”

John closed his eyes tighter and decided to give him the best answer that left out all the demon talk, “I needed the money.  I sold Sam for money.” John took a deep breath, “Part of the deal was I still got to see him. The people I sold him too always threatened me and told me that if Sam ever disappeared or escaped that they would go after Dean. I think that is what happened and why they are both dead now.”

Hendrickson nodded, “Do you have a name of who you sold Sam too?” John remained silent for a few moments before Hendrickson added, “John tell me for Dean. You are never walking out of here. Your sons are dead. The least you can do is make sure their killer, Dean’s killer, spends the rest of their life behind bars.”

John nodded and opened his eyes looking dazed, “Gordon Walker.”

Hendrickson wrote down the name and looked back at John, “Do you think Mr. Walker would have anything to do with the disappearance of Adam and Kate Mulligan?”

John shook his head ‘no’, “I kept them separated from this life as best I could.”

Hendrickson nodded. He stood and walked out of the room. He closed the door behind him and took a deep breath. They now had a statement confirming what Bobby Singer had told Mills. Now he just had to create the charges to hold John Winchester and find Gordon Walker.

It took thirty minutes for Hendrickson to write the indictment. He slipped back into the room with another agent by his side. He put down the papers on the table and spoke calmly. “Mr. Winchester. I am charging you with 23 counts of aggravated assault and battery, one count of first degree rape, one count of kidnapping, and the false imprisonment of Samuel Winchester.” Hendrickson paused, “You are also being held on suspicion of murder in the cases of Samuel Winchester and Dean Winchester.  I’m sorry.”

+++

Dean had moved Sam to a chair in their small dining room so he could fix them something to eat. Sam didn’t protest or voice any objection to it. Dean just didn’t want to leave Sam alone, not yet especially when half of what Sam says makes absolutely no sense. Dean is fumbling with a pan as he hears the door to their apartment open. He puts down the pan and walks out of the kitchen to put himself in between whoever is entering the room and Sam.

Dean knows he doesn’t stand much of chance if they did want to drag Sam away but he felt better at least putting in the effort. Dean watched as a muscular man in suit entered the room with a soldier waiting outside the door. Dean wondered for a moment if he could take them. He knew he could take them if Sam had his back, but that wasn’t happening quite yet.

The agent scanned the room. His gaze flipped from Sam and then to Dean. He finally settled his gaze on Dean. “My name is Agent Adams. I am sure you are both wondering why you are here.”

Sam didn’t even look up, but Dean moved instinctually closer to Sam. Dean was hesitant as he spoke. His cockiness was slowly starting to fade between being locked in this place and having to take care of Sam. “That would be nice to know.”

Agent Adams nodded, “You are at a classified military base. We study supernatural creatures; the ones that you hunt and kill. Both of you have been on our radar for a while, one of our divisions cleans up the messes the hunters make.” Adams paused, “After what happened to Sam, we took both of you here to heal. However, it won’t be possible for either of you to leave. You will both be given a nice life and anything you want.”

Dean’s gaze narrowed on him and he felt his cockiness bubbling back up, “First of all, we are not staying here until we die. That is not happening. Second of all, why would you want to keep us here? We are just hunters and Sam is completely harmless. He couldn’t even do a salt and burn right now.”

Agent Adams nodded and spoke arrogantly, “You and your brothers are both vessels. We have done quite a bit of research on what bloodlines are required to be vessels of angels and the bloodline you and your brother create is rare. Very powerful angels can take over your bodies, we need to keep the two of you safe.”

Dean couldn’t help it. He started laughing. This guy couldn’t be serious, but look on the guy’s face told Dean that guy was just that, serious. Dean swallowed his laughter when he thought about how screwed he was. Escaping from a secret military base that was probably in the middle of nowhere was not going to easy, if not impossible. Dean closed his eyes and tried to think for a moment, he needed a plan. He needed to start figuring this place out because even for him these people were crazy.

Dean shot a look at Sam who was staring off into space. He shook his head and determined he had to do what he could to help Sam and maybe fresh air would do the trick. It would also help him to start to get an idea of the layout of the place. Dean looked over at Agent Adams and took a deep breath, “Okay, I am not going to go into how there are no such things as angels. But since you offered us anything we want, would it be possible for us to go outside and get some fresh air?”

Agent Adams nodded, “Of course, there are other vessels here. We have an area outside set aside for them. Most of them gather around 2 PM this time of year. I will send someone for you then. If you want to go at a different time just push the buzzer by your door and someone will take you.”

“Yeah, 2 PM sounds good.” Dean wanted to tell Agent Adams that he wasn’t in the mood for making friends but he didn’t. He had to stick to his plan, as weak as it was. Dean also realized if he met other people who were being held here they may be able to offer him some insight. Aside from his underlying desire to escape, he also had a strong desire to make sure neither of them became victims of government experiments. The last thing he wanted was an anal probe.


	10. The First Pieces of the Puzzle

Dean should have known that going outside would not lead to anything promising. They were technically outside, but they were still inside what looked like a giant cage about the size of two football fields. The bars along the cage formed clear sigils which as far as Dean could gather were intended to ward off demons. Dean thought to himself how Sam would be able to tell him what each sigil meant, but Sam was still a little out of it.

Aside from being in a giant cage, the area was nice. Dean could feel the wind on his face. He could see the clouds in the sky and the warmth of the sun on his face. It was nice. The area itself was mostly grass, but it had a walking path, picnic tables to one side, a sand volleyball court, a small pond, and a children’s playground. Dean felt a little sick to his stomach thinking that there were children trapped in here. Children that stood very little chance of ever getting out of here.

Dean sat down at one of the picnic tables with Sam. He noticed that Sam was uncomfortable with being outside, so he didn’t want to push him. Although, Dean knew they should at least walk around and get some exercise. He tucked that thought away for right now and figured he could always exercise in their room it would give him something to do besides try to figure out how to fix Sam.

Sam wasn’t sure to make of this new environment, there were other people wandering around and Sam could feel their eyes on him. He feared that one of them would try to take him away from Dean or punish him. Sam still didn’t understand why Dean hasn’t punished him, but he knew better than to ask. He knew he shouldn’t ask questions or demand things.

Sam started to curl his arms around himself as the light of the sun started to bother him. All he could think about is wanting to get back to the darkness because in the darkness everything was safe. Sam felt himself start to shake as his breathing increased. He was scared. He wanted the darkness.

Dean noticed Sam started shaking but he wasn’t sure if he should jump on it to make him stop or if he should see if Sam could get it under control. He made the mistake of seeing if Sam could get it under control. Moments passed as Dean did nothing, Sam’s breathing started become faster and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Sam gripped his hand down on the underside of the bench and kept his eyes on the ground. He wanted to get out of the light. It scared him.

When Dean realized Sam was starting to hyperventilate he stepped in. Dean knelt down beside Sam regretting not doing anything to head this off, whatever it was. He kept his voice soft when he spoke and it was a near whisper, “Hey Sam, what’s wrong?” Sam didn’t respond at first. He kept trying to focus on breathing. It was getting harder to breathe and Sam just wanted to go into the darkness. Dean reached out and put a hand on the side of Sam’s face lightly. Dean didn’t want to scare him, but he wanted to get Sam’s attention. Dean spoke again, “It is okay, Sammy. Just tell me what is wrong.”

Sam swallowed as he tried to control his breathing and managed to say through his breathes, “The light, bad things happen in the light.”

Dean had been dealing with this sort of thing since Sam woke up. He had no idea what Sam was talking about. Dean wasn’t sure if what Sam was saying actually meant something or if it was just that his head was a mess. He didn’t know what to think and he didn’t know what to do with certainty. Dean sighed and asked carefully, he didn’t want Sam to freak out even more. “Sammy, what can I do to make it better?”

Dean watched as Sam’s eyes darted around; Dean wasn’t sure what exactly Sam was looking at or looking for. All Dean knew is that Sam looked like a lost child and it scared him. After a few moments, Sam’s eyes stopped moving and he stared at the ground. His bottom lip was trembling when he spoke. “Darkness, no hurt comes in the darkness.”

Dean closed his eyes to think, he didn’t know what Sam meant by that. He thought to himself how Sam always had bad timing on opening up and right now, in front of all these other people trapped here. It was as close to bad timing as Dean could get. Instead of trying to skirt whatever issue, Dean pressed Sam to explain. “I don’t understand, Sam. What do you mean no hurt comes in the darkness?”

Sam shook his head, he didn’t understand why Dean didn’t understand. It was pretty simple and clear to Sam. When the lights come on he gets hurt. When the lights are off he is left alone. It was really that simple, yet Dean didn’t grasp that. Sam slowed down his breathing and looked at Dean for a moment; he still avoided Dean’s eyes. He didn’t want to get punished more; he knew punishment was due.

Dean spoke carefully after he didn’t get a reply from Sam. He was hoping he was doing the right thing and not causing Sam more damage. “Please Sammy, help me understand.”

Sam started to chew on his bottom lip before he finally spoke, “Master and the others only hurt me when the lights came on. No one hurt me when it was dark.” Sam tilted his head down further on instinct. He knew Dean tensed whenever he spoke of his Master. Sam had a feeling Dean didn’t like the man very much.

Dean had a running monolog in his head telling himself to stay calm and not to react. He reminded himself that he killed those people and once he got out of here the rest of them, including their father, were going to be dead. Dean took a deep breath and pulled Sam in for a hug as he moved to sit next to Sam. Dean could feel the uncertainty in Sam as he held onto him.

Sam didn’t calm down and his breathing was still labored. Dean didn’t know what was going on in Sam’s mind, but he had an idea. “Close your eyes, Sammy.” Dean pulled away and watched as Sam closed his eyes without question. He had almost hoped Sam would shoot him a look or tell him no, but Dean knew that at least for right now that part of Sam was gone. Dean missed Sam’s questioning of orders and his outright defiance at times.

Dean pulled Sam into him so that Sam’s head was facing his neck and pressing against his chest. Dean rose up a hand and rested it over Sam’s eyes. He whispered to Sam, “No one going to hurt you Sam.” Dean listened as Sam’s breathing steadied and he started to relax. He was slightly impressed with himself that his plan worked. Sam only needed the illusion of darkness to calm down. Dean didn’t really know what to do with that knowledge. Dean knew that he couldn’t keep Sam blindfolded, but maybe if he gave Sam away to close off when the world got too much then maybe he could find his way back.

Sam felt comfortable leaning into Dean and letting him cover his eyes. It was dark, but more than that he wasn’t alone. He knew he was still outside sitting on a picnic table, but he felt some security. The darkness made him feel like he wasn’t going to get hurt and there was an underlying part of Sam that felt safer when Dean was near. He didn’t really know what to make of that or how to feel about that, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

Dean looked around the field as he held his hand over Sam’s eyes. He wondered briefly what the other people would think of them. Dean didn’t have to wait long to find out the answer to that question. A man with bright blue eyes and dark brown hair causally sat down on edge of the bench of the table they were seated at. Dean shot him a look. There were other empty picnic table yet this guy comes here and sits next to them.

Dean quirked and eyebrow as the man smiled at them, “My name is Jimmy.” He said cheerfully as he reached out a hand for Dean to shake.

Dean looked at the man and the hand for a moment, before using his hand that was not covering Sam’s eyes to shake his hand firmly. He didn’t want this guy thinking he could take advantage of Sam or him for that matter. Dean cleared his throat before he spoke, “I’m Dean and this is my brother, Sam.”

Jimmy nodded and asked curiously, “Are you vessels?”

Dean closed his eyes and wished that the simple act of closing his eyes could make everything go away like it did for Sam. But then he cleared his head, he did not want to be as messed up as Sam and he had to keep it together. Dean sighed, “That is what they tell me. I am just looking for the get out of jail card.”

Jimmy nodded again. He smiled once again and said, “I pray to Castiel every night. I am to be his vessel if there is a need. Whose vessel do the two of you belong too? It takes a lot of prayer and devotion to be a vessel of the Lord.”

Dean stared at Jimmy for a moment and wondered if he just stepped into crazy town. He knew Sam was broken and Jimmy was nuts. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was crazy too and they were all just trapped in one heavily guarded mental institution. Dean took a deep breath and tried to remind himself that he wasn’t in a mental hospital. He was in some secret government area and they would get out. They had to get out. This could not be his life. This could not be Sam’s life.

Jimmy started to stand when Dean didn’t respond to him, “I am sorry, I bothered you.”

Dean shook his head and realized that Jimmy might be helpful, crazy, but helpful none the less. Dean spoke quickly, “No, it’s okay. I’ve just had a lot on my mind. It has been a long week. I don’t know whose vessel we are. Honestly, I don’t believe in God and I don’t pray. They told me it had to do with bloodlines.”

Jimmy nodded, “I have heard rumors about that. The rumors state that there are four angels who need a particular bloodline to possess a vessel. I am not sure of the names of those angels. Castiel hasn’t answered my prayers on that one.”

Dean nodded, it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. He was hoping for something besides more crazy talk, but he wasn’t that lucky. Dean decided to draw out the crazy talk anyways in the hope it would lead to something actually useful, “When did the bloodline rumor start?”

Jimmy looked at Dean for a moment, “A couple of days ago, Kate, she is a nurse here. They took her son, Adam. They said he had part but not all of the bloodline needed. He isn’t out here right now. Adam is angry.”

Dean perked with that information. It was useful information and it meant that Kate could be the key to helping them escape. Dean did cringe at the thought of having to get two more people out, but he would do what he had to do to keep Sam safe. Dean replied softly as Sam’s hand twisted in his shirt, “Are they hurting Adam?”

Jimmy shook his head ‘no’.  He was calm when he replied, “They don’t touch us and they will give us anything we want. We just can’t leave here. I think they are scared to do anything to us.” Jimmy paused, “Adam asked that his mom stay with him so they granted that. Last I heard, Kate was still allowed to work. Some of the other vessels work around here doing different things.”

Dean held Sam a little tighter because he could feel Sam tensing again. When Dean shifted a little more he realized that his fingers had parted on the hand covering Sam’s eyes and light was shining in between his fingers. Dean kissed Sam on the forehead lightly as he closed his fingers back over Sam’s eyes. He murmured, “Sorry,” in Sam’s ear. Sam started to calm down again once his world fell into darkness.

Jimmy had a curious look on his face and asked innocently, “What happened to your brother?”

Dean wanted to tell him to mind his own business but he could really unload on someone. Unfortunately for Jimmy, he asked. Dean’s jaw clenched as he spoke, “My Dad. Well, he was my dad. I don’t know what he is to me anymore.” Dean paused and took a deep breath, “He sold Sam like a piece of meat to some dicks. They hurt him pretty bad. It took me 3 years to find him and by the time I found him… I don’t know what all they did to him. I know it was bad and I know it was wrong.”

Jimmy nodded again, “Did the government find Sam for you?”

Dean glared at Jimmy for a moment, “No, I found him on my own. The government got ahold of us when I was taking Sam to the hospital. The people that had him drugged him and I didn’t know what else to do.”

Jimmy nodded and smiled. It was a half-hearted smile, “He is safe here. You are safe here. I should be going back inside. My favorite soap opera is about to come on and I don’t want to miss it.”

Dean looked at Jimmy for a moment and spoke with uncertainty, “Yeah, thanks. I hope to see you around.”

++

Inside a room with maps of the world covering the walls. Agent Adams, Agent Hendrickson, Agent Mills, Pastor Jim, and Dr. Frank Devereaux. It would seem like an unlikely gathering but they were all here for a reason. They had to discuss what they stumbled upon that had been right underneath them the whole time.

Agent Adams spoke first, “Thank you all for coming on such short notice. This as you know is about Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, and Adam Mulligan. Frank would you like to take point on this?”

Frank was an overweight middle aged man, who could best be described as paranoid. That was why he worked here. His paranoid believes were more often not correct when dealing with things outside the scope of humanity. Frank cleared his throat before speaking, not because he had to clear his throat but because he wanted everyone to understand the seriousness of this little chat. “I believe the Winchesters are vessels of two of the four archangels. From what I have gathered, Raphael and Gabriel have had the same vessel for thousands of years. The remaining two lost their vessels in a pissing match.”

Pastor Jim looked skeptical. “You think they are vessels of archangels? There are only three in Heaven, not four. Even if they vessels of archangels, they would have to believe in the angel and allow for the angel to take control of their bodies. The Winchesters, to my knowledge, are not particularly religious.”

Frank chuckled, “True there are only 3 archangels in Heaven, but there is one in Hell. I think it is pretty clear which archangel each of the Winchesters belong too.”

Mill’s interrupted, “Spill it, Frank. What are we looking at here?”

Frank leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, “Dean is the vessel of Michael, who happens to be the ruler of Heaven. I would tread carefully when dealing with Dean.” Frank paused for dramatic effect. “Sam on the other hand is the vessel of Lucifer. He was locked away and tortured. Michael locked Lucifer away in a cage in the deepest part of Hell.”

Pastor Jim shook his head, “Sam got tortured and raped for three years. Do you really think that can compare to hell?”

Frank pushed his glasses up and pointed a finger, “Hell is how we imagine it would be. It is our worst fear played out in front of us until there is no longer any fear. When Sam was taken, beaten, and raped in front of and probably by his own father. He was in Hell. What happened to him is a fear worth playing out in Hell. Throw in the drugs they had Sam on and everyday was like waking up in Hell. In three years, they never stopped tormenting him, even when he had no idea why or who he was... Sam was locked away just as Lucifer was locked away to play out his fears. Their fears may not be the same, but as it is in Heaven than so it shall be on Earth.”

Pastor Jim put his hands on his head and rested it on the table, “Frank, just because someone was taken and tortured does not make them Lucifer’s vessel. It makes them a victim and no one should be thinking Sam Winchester is evil. It isn’t right besides this sort of thing has happened to countless people throughout history and none of those people, including Sam, are evil.”

Agent Adams cut in, “Sam Winchester was infected with demon blood as an infant, along with other children. How does that tie into all of this Frank?”

Frank perked at the question, he was getting to the meat of the situation. “The demon blood was to make extras, if you will for Lucifer, in case Sam refused. There were 9 children in all. Sam being one of them. Sam didn’t need the demon blood; it will make him stronger and abilities normal humans do not have. The other nine are dead. Killed by hunters which leaves only Sam.”

Hendrickson added, “The bodies of the other nine were found out back of the cabin in Fairfield, Iowa. The cause of death has yet to be determined.”

Frank huffed, “I think we all can look at Sam and take a guess at what their cause of death was. They were probably tortured to death. Nothing like sending Lucifer’s backup vessels to Hell in flurry of pain inflicted on them.”

Pastor Jim cut in, “We do not know if those nine people went to Hell or not. It is just as reasonable to assume they went to Heaven. They were innocent and God forgives the innocent.”

Frank cocked his head and spoke in a condescending tone, “Funny, I didn’t God has actually talked to any of his little angels in a long time. Michael rules Heaven, not God.”

Pastor Jim rolled his eyes, “Okay fine. How do we keep Sam from submitting to Lucifer?”

Frank shrugged, “You got me. It is his destiny.”

Hendrickson stared off into space for a moment before asking, “What does any of this have to do with Adam Mulligan?”

Frank grinned, “Hell wasn’t the only one that made backups. Adam is Michael’s backup in case Dean refuses. Michael will be stronger in Dean than Adam, but as a last resort Adam can be used.”

Agent Adams spoke, “What is the bottom line? What threat do they pose?”

Frank looked off into the distance at the map of the world. He spoke an absolute tone, “If Lucifer and Michael face off; it could lead to the apocalypse. Two powerful archangels going to war with each other is going to be bloody. Well, not really bloody, but they gain power from souls. It would lead to the rapture.” Frank paused again for dramatic effect, “New souls in particular, they will draw the souls’ man into either Heaven or Hell when they fight. If I had to guess, I would say at least and I do mean at least of the world’s population would be dead if this happened.”

Agent Adams rubbed his hands over his face, “So they need to be eliminated? We need to kill them.”

Pastor Jim put his hand up and stood, “No, you are not killing three innocent young men. That is wrong.”

Frank just chuckled, “You can kill them if you like, as many times as you like, but I think they would get resurrected and you would probably piss Michael off in the process. I for one, do not want to have an archangel pissed off at me.”

Mills sighed, “How about we hold off on killing anyone? How do we know Lucifer and Michael are going to take control of their bodies? We have a whole wing of people who are vessels and aside from them rambling about talking to their angel. The angel, almost never, takes control.”

Frank grinned and tossed a book out on the table, “It was easy to figure out what happened to Sam and everything Dean went through to find him. A prophet of the Lord has risen and taken it upon himself to write down the inner most details of Sam and Dean Winchester’s life. Now, it could be that God has a sick fascination with torture and rape, which wouldn’t surprise me. Or God wants what is about to happen recorded.”

Hendrickson picked up the book and flipped to a random page and read.

_“Inside the darkened room, Sam cried to himself and prayed to the Lord in Heaven for help. He prayed for his safety. He prayed for this to all stop, but in the end he prayed for death. Sam didn’t want to think about what happened to him when there was light. His whole body hurt in ways that he had never imagined. He had been betrayed by his own father and abandoned by his brother. There was no one in the world that cared about him._

_It was in these moments that Sam knew he was truly alone. No God in Heaven or on Earth was going to help him. He was lost and in these moments of desperation Sam found himself clinging the words his Master has said for nothing more than comfort. Even if the words his Master spoke did nothing but to cut Sam down further into believing he was worthless and undeserving of love. Slowly, Sam found comfort in the darkness. In the darkness, the sting of whips did not touch his skin, men fallen of righteousness did not violate him. In the darkness, Sam felt safe. But his safety was nothing more than an illusion._

_Sam’s safety never lasted for long. As soon as Sam’s guard dropped this lights in the room came on. The lights shined throughout the space like an angel ascending from the Heavens. With the light came pain, Sam didn’t look to see what was happening to him. He could feel it. He could feel sharp shocks raddle through his body. His screams and his pleas meant nothing. It was a never ending stream for what felt like hours and it was just that hours, until his body could no longer take anymore and his world until he slipped into unconsciousness.”_

Hendrickson closed the book vowing to himself never to open it again. He hoped this was all just some kind of sick joke. When he realized he was too lost in his own thoughts to keep up with the argument in the room.

Agent Adams was angry, “We have to kill them and burn their bodies. We do not have a choice.”

Pastor Jim was adamant. “No, when this place was created it was intended to protect the vessels. Not march them to their death.”

Agent Adams pulled his gun out of his holster, “Fine, I will take care of this myself.” With that Agent Adams got up and left the room.


	11. Trying to Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of child abuse in this chapter.

Frank is very highly opposed to violence of any kind, mostly because he thinks the consequences of violence outweighs the consequences of going with the flow. However, he has been known to make exceptions. This is one of those times when he decided it is right to make an exception because Agent Adams was intent on committing murder based on information he gave him. Frank was fairly certain that wouldn’t go over well for him in the whole good versus evil nonsense that has become his life.

So Frank pulled out the gun he held under the table as Agent Adams turned to leave. He leaved the gun and he fired it straight into Agent Adams’ back. The agent didn’t bleed. He just collapsed on the floor with a tranquilizer dark sticking out of his back. Frank after all doesn’t like violence and knocking someone out to stop them always sounds like a better solution to Frank than murdering someone.

Pastor Jim stood shocked at the whole situation. He was unsure of what to do or how to take in the situation. He was grateful Frank stopped Agent Adams but they would still have to deal with him whenever he woke up. Pastor Jim walked over and picked up the agent’s gun which laid abandoned on the floor. He removed the clip and set it on the table.

They all watched in silence as two soldiers came into the room to get Agent Adams. Agent Hendrickson advised to put him in a holding cell until further notice. They all agreed that the Winchesters and Adam Mulligan should not be killed for this. They were not monsters or creatures bent on doing evil. They were just three young men whose bloodline dealt them a fate they could not run away from. All the young men could hope for is their purpose never coming to pass.

But there was one other Winchester they had to discuss. One they didn’t get to before Agent Adams near homicidal rampage. They still had to decide what to do with John Winchester. He has the same blood, which means that he could share a purpose as well. Pastor Jim was at a loss on what to do with John Winchester.

After long moments of silence he finally spoke, “What if we keep John Winchester here away from the quarantine area in a cell? He would be kept from doing anything evil and he couldn’t do anything to hurt the boys?”

Frank shrugged, “That could work. The books are painfully cryptic in the mentioning of John. It is like the prophet is hiding something about him. I just don’t know what.” Frank paused and looked at Agent Hendrickson and Agent Mills, “Are the two of you going to fake his death and bring him here or wait for him to get sentenced to life in prison to bring him here?”

Hendrickson looked at the ceiling for a moment trying to decide what to say or do finally he said tentatively, “We will fake his death. It should be easy enough to look convincing. As far as the local papers are concerned, he murdered his two sons after subjecting the younger one to years of physical and sexual abuse.”

Frank laughed, “I like how everyone is always so focused on Sam and what John did to Sam. No one ever asks about what John did to Dean. Those books go into great detail about what John did to Dean.”

Pastor Jim eyed Frank for a moment. He knew Sam and Dean when they were growing up. John would drop the boys off with him for weeks at a time. He always remembered Dean being quiet for the first couple days after John left and getting tense whenever he knew John was coming back for them. Dean never said anything bad was happening but now that he thought about it Dean never mentioned anything good happening either. Dean always brushed off any mention of home life with a cocky attitude.

Pastor Jim asked carefully, “What are you talking about Frank?”

Frank looked at Pastor Jim with honest amusement on his face, “Dean raised Sam because their father didn’t care. He would get the hell beat out of him by John constantly when he was around. Interestingly, Dean never let John lay a hand on Sam. He would always step in and he would always protect his brother until John arranged the little kidnapping stunt.” Frank paused again for dramatic effect, “Now Pastor, how do you think a small child is going to be able to finically support another small child?”

Pastor Jim shook his head and said nothing. He didn’t want to think about Dean doing that, even once. He didn’t want to think anyone having to do that to make money. But Jim wasn’t blind to the world. He knew the word was a cold place and life as seldom fair. Sam and Dean had grown up practically homeless in the hands of a monster. Their only reprieve was when they were left on the doorsteps of others for weeks or months at a time.

Jim’s heart ached when he thought about how he could have stopped all of that. How he could have made a simple phone call. Then the boys could have had a stable life. None of this would have happened. They could have both gone to college and found the person they wanted to be with forever. Instead because of his inaction, this is what happened.

Pastor Jim stared at the floor for several more moments before he finally spoke. He had to get someone else’s opinion on this. “I am going to talk to Bobby Singer. He is a close friend of Sam and Dean Winchester. We are going to need him to accept his cover story for release. I suspect he is going to demand to see the boys. I will leave it up to Dean on if he gets to see them.”

++

Bobby was aggravated on top of not knowing where he was. He paced back and forth across the living room in his quarantine apartment for hours. He didn’t know what else to do. The kitchen was stocked with everything but alcohol and right now all Bobby wanted was some whiskey. Not that whiskey would solve any of his current problems, but it was the best medicine for this situation he could think of.

He finally stopped pacing when he heard the door to the apartment open and Pastor Jim walked in. Bobby was a little surprised because he wasn’t wearing the tan uniform he had on and he wasn’t dressed like one of the soldiers. Pastor Jim was dressed casually like he always dressed. Bobby stared at him for a moment and noticed the pastor was nervous. Given the situation Bobby wasn’t sure if that was a red flag or not.

Pastor Jim closed the door behind him and took a couple steps away from the door before addressing Bobby. He knew Bobby was going to be pissed, but he was hopeful he could reason with him. “Hi Bobby, I guess I should explain to you what is going on here.”

Bobby eyed Pastor Jim for a moment and took note of the folder in his hands. It irritated Bobby, not the folder just everything. He hoped that Pastor Jim could be less cryptic than the other people he had spoken with. Bobby’s voice was agitated when he spoke, “You can start with where I am and if the boys are okay.”

Pastor Jim nodded and crossed the room to sit down at the table. He sat the folder on the table and waited for Bobby to join him. Bobby was disgruntled but followed suit and sat down. The pastor cleared his throat while fidgeting with the ends of the folder, “You are in New Mexico at a secret government base. There are two things that go on here. The most important thing is protecting the vessels of angels. This quarantine cell you are in was designed to house a vessel. Devil’s traps that are used in the hunting community do not stop all demons. The sigils craved into these walls can stop all of them.” Pastor Jim paused to gauge Bobby response. He could tell Bobby thought he was off his rocker, but he continued anyways. “The other thing that goes on here is away from the vessels. It is the study of the creatures that we hunt like vampires, goblins, and the like.”

Bobby put elbows on the table and rested his hands on his head. He sighed heavily before looking back over at Pastor Jim. “The boys?” Bobby wanted to say more but he knew he didn’t know everything that went bump in the night and it would make sense if there are demons than there must be angels.

Pastor Jim continued to pick at the folder for a few moments before replying, “They are here. I haven’t spoken to either of them yet. From my understanding Dean is being very protective of Sam which is what I would expect form Dean. Sam has a long road ahead of him to recover from what happened to him. I don’t know what all happened to him, but I have been told he should recover just fine.”

Bobby eyed Pastor Jim for a moment, “Okay, the boys and I are not creatures. Why are we here?”

Pastor Jim took a deep breath, “Sam and Dean’s bloodline indicates that they are vessels that is why they are here. You are here because you were too close to them when they got intercepted to be taken here. You will need a different story about your whereabouts and your contact with them before you can be released from here.”

Bobby clinched his fist in his hand and said slowly, “I want to see them and I am not leaving here without them. They are my boys regardless of what John says and I need to make sure they are okay.”

Pastor Jim sighed, “Bobby, I know you want to do what is best for them. Being here is what is best for them. They will be safe here. Nothing will ever hurt them again. But you need to go back into the world to help curb any suspicion as to what happened to them.”

Bobby stared at Pastor Jim for a moment and said firmly, “No.” Then he added, “What am I supposed to tell anyone? No one knows either of them exists outside of the hunting community and hunters go missing all the time.”

Pastor Jim opened the folder and tossed a newspaper over to Bobby. Slowly Bobby pulled the newspaper over to him. He only had to read the headline for an article off to the side. It read _‘John Winchester charged in the murders of his two sons’_. Bobby didn’t bother to read the article because he knew what was written on that page was fiction and right now he didn’t want to read fiction. He wanted the truth.

Bobby asked carefully, “You framed John for the murder of Sam and Dean. How do you think this is going to go over with them?”

Pastor Jim looked at Bobby for a moment. He could tell this conversation was going just about as well as he had hoped. “I don’t know how they are going to take that. It is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. You spent a lot more time around the boys than I did. I know John would leave the boys with you for months at a time. Do you know of any abuse either of them may have suffered at the hands of John? We know John was involved in Sam’s disappearance and I saw photos of John torturing Sam after he went missing. I just want to know if there was anything before that.”

Bobby sighed, “For a pastor sometimes you are blind. The time they stayed with me for two years when Dean was a teenager was because Sam called me. Sam said that John beat Dean up and left. I drove all night to get there and when I did Dean was huddled in the corner of the bathroom next to the tub. The kid looked like hell. His face was swollen. His legs, arms, and chest were black and purple. Dean couldn’t even stand he was hurt so bad.

“Sam had been doing his best to tend to him, but Sam was just a kid. Sam had to have been 9 or 10 at the time. I wanted to take Dean to the hospital but he refused. He didn’t want to go to a hospital and he didn’t want me to call CPS. Dean was afraid about getting separated from Sam. I stayed there in the motel with them for a couple days until Dean could stand long enough to get to the car. Then I took them home with me.

“I made Dean tell me everything. He didn’t want too but he did. Dean said that their daddy blamed Sam for what happened to their mother and always had. He said that John would come in sometimes when he was drunk and want to beat Sam, but Dean always stopped him from touching Sam. He let John beat him instead. Dean rambled something at the time about when those things happened he thought his dad was a demon because of how dark his eyes looked, but then he reasoned it was just the dim lights of the room.

“Dean had a tough life and I wish I knew about it sooner. He never said it but I suspect he sold himself make money to support him and Sam. I didn’t want to push him on that.” Bobby sighed, “I didn’t want to let them go back with John, but when he showed back up he apologized to Dean and Sam. He swore it would never happen again. The boys agreed to go with him and I had no power to stop them. Sam was a little reluctant but Sam would follow Dean anywhere so he went. I had to send Dean money a lot after they left without John knowing. It was the least I could do. I knew they shouldn’t be with John, but they loved their dad.”

Pastor Jim stared at Bobby in disbelief for a moment, “Why didn’t you call and tell me this when it happened?”

Bobby glared at him for a moment, “It wasn’t anybody’s business and I doubt Dean would have wanted me announcing to the world that his daddy beat the life out of him. Besides, if I did tell you back then would they have just ended up here? Locked in a windowless apartment?”

Pastor Jim looked away from Bobby for a moment before turning back to him, “Yes, they would have ended up here. I would have taken them here. I would have stayed with them and raised them. They both deserved better than that and they still do. Look Bobby, the boys can have anything they want here. They can go outside. They can ask for an apartment with windows if they want. They can have anything, but they can’t leave here.” Pastor Jim paused, “Please Bobby, knowing the cover story of what happened is the one way you can help them now and you can come see them whenever you want.”

Bobby looked at the folder and he looked at Pastor Jim for a few moments, “I want to see them. I want to talk to both of them before I make any sort of decision. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice and they end up getting hurt again.”

Pastor Jim nodded and stood, “Well, how about we go to see them.”


	12. Complications

John knew this wasn’t going to end well for him for years. He should have known better than to get goaded into this by Azazel in the first place. His job was simple or at least he thought it was. All he had to do was become John Winchester and raise two boys as hunters. Simple, yet a pain in the ass. It became even more of a pain when he found out why the boys were supposed to be raised as hunters.

This is when he decided to take some much needed liberty with his job. Azazel said he didn’t care what he did as long as he didn’t kill either of them. He did make it clear that the younger one was more important, so he spent most of his time making the older one’s life hell. He favored the older one for this. Dean would always come back to him, no matter what he did. He had actually grown to like Dean.

Sam on the other hand, he was different. He hated Sam for all of this. He knew that if Mary, his meat suit’s wife was still alive, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He was a free spirit despite whatever nightmare he threw them into. He wouldn’t obey and he wouldn’t listen. John knew there were others like Sam and he knew he needed to eliminate them while pulling Sam closer to him. He knew that if he did the deed than Sam would kill him if given the chance. So he opted to let someone else do most of the dirty work while still keeping his hand in it. He still needed Sam on his side.  

But all of that went to hell so to speak, he let his ego get in the way and now the boys which he was supposed to protect were dead. He considered leaving this meat suit and letting him face the fact his sons are dead. However, he knew that leaving his meat suit would mean that he would have go back to Hell and he had no doubts the Queen of Hell was going to be angry, very angry. Lilith was not know for her mercy.

So lacking a better plan he decided to play human some more besides he should be able to have fun in prison. There would be plenty of people to torment in prison, but John had a feeling that wasn’t exactly where he was headed. He was in the back of a van, handcuffed with a hood over his head. They thought they sedated him, but you can’t sedate a demon. He was doing his best to fake being unconscious while wondering how long this sedative was supposed to last. It didn’t really matter to him because he doubted these people would be paying enough attention to him to care how or when he woke up.

He listened as the van slowed and pulled into a building. He listened as the doors to the van opened and he felt two men pull him out of the van. Then he stopped. He couldn’t move. He was trapped, but only the most ancient devil’s traps could contain him. That information was supposed to have been lost by humanity yet here he was trapped.

John listened as one of the men radioed, “I need someone. I think we just trapped a demon.” He could tell the man was nervous that excited him. He knew this was going to be fun, lots of fun. He could smell the fear on the man. It was intoxicating and it made him feel alive. But not that he thought about it, he didn’t really remember what it was like to be alive. All that he remembered from his human life was that he shared the same name as the meat suit he currently occupied which was a nice irony in John’s mind.

It seemed like hours but it was really only minutes before he felt the hood being removed from his head. John stared into the eyes of Pastor Jim, one of the many hunters he befriended on his journey. He would ditch the boys with the pastor when he had other business to attend too. Besides, it wasn’t like he could really teach Sam and Dean how to do an exorcism.  That would be a little dangerous even if Azazel did brand him on that first night in the nursery so he wouldn’t be able to vacate with a standard exorcism.

John snickered at the pastor. He knew it was only a matter of time before he got sent back to Hell to face Lilith. He decided to do his best to make a show of his. The last thing he wanted to report is that he went down without so much as a fight. He flicked his eyes to black and asked calmly, “Pastor Jim, what is going on here? Why can’t I get out of here?”

Pastor Jim was agitated but he kept his cool. He didn’t want to give the demon anything to latch onto. “Shut up. What is your name?”

John grinned and smiled, “My name is John. Always has been even before this little project. Tell me pastor did you burn the bodies of the boys yet? I think I might want to make a deal to bring them back?”

Pastor Jim ignored that question. He wasn’t going to answer the demon’s questions. Instead he started to open an exorcism book, a very old book. John knew just by looking at the book the exorcism could send him to the darkest part of hell. It would take him centuries to dig his way out. He didn’t like the sound of that but he did have a bargaining chip, the soul trapped inside the meat suit that had been sleeping nicely for over two decades.

John coughed, “Oh Jim, you don’t want to do that. It won’t work and I will kill the man who owns this meat suit.”

Jim looked at him for a moment and stated firmly, “John Winchester is monster. I don’t care if he dies.”

John laughed, “You think John Winchester did those things to Sam and Dean.” The demon lowered his voice to a whisper, “I have a surprise for you. He doesn’t know any of that. He’s been sleeping nicely inside here since little Sammy was 6 months old.”

Jim ignored him once more and started reciting the exorcism. He figured the demon was lying. As promised it didn’t work. John did show signs of being uncomfortable but it didn’t remove the demon from the body. Jim accessed the situation for a moment. He only remembered one other time when an exorcism did not work and that was when the demon sealed itself inside the body. Jim sighed and turned to one of the soldiers, “Tie him to a rack. We are going to need to get him out of his clothes. We are going to be looking for a mark or a brand. Let me know if either of you see anything.”

The demon watched in amusement as two soldiers came in with a large rack and moved it inside the devil’s trap with him. He hoped that it would mess up the lines until he looked up and saw an identical one of the ceiling. He knew than any damage done to the devil’s trap on the floor wouldn’t help him.  He did his best to resist when they tied him to the rack and he sneered at them as they cut away at his clothes. They left his boxers on. The demon mused that it was an interesting curtesy. He thought about getting the real John Winchester to watch his reaction, because this would be horrifying to most humans.

He decided against it. He thought it would be better to see this thing through which would also lend itself to making this insanely difficult for Pastor Jim. He watched the soldiers look him over with black eyes while licking his lips. The demon knew that silence was sometimes more unnerving than speaking.  He watched as one of the soldiers stopped by his left side. He felt the soldier put a hand on his fles right under his arm pit.

The soldier turned to Pastor Jim and said nervously, “I think I found something.”

Pastor Jim walked over carefully. He looked at an old brand. It had faded with time but the meaning of the brand remained the same. It kept the demon inside. Jim had a sinking feeling that the demon may have been telling the truth. He had no idea how he was going to explain that to Dean or if Dean would even accept it. Jim considered for a moment killing John with a demon killing knife, but he didn’t think that would be righteous thing to do. It would be wrong to kill an innocent soul regardless of what the demon inhabiting his body had done.

Jim pulled out the demon killing knife from his bag and walked back over to John. He put a hand on John’s skin below the brand and he cut into the brand with the knife. The demon screamed in pain, but the demon did not die or leave. Jim removed the skin that contained the brand and tossed it on the floor. He walked back to stand in front of the demon.

The demon lifted his head and smirked, “That is a girly knife you got there. I sensed what you were thinking. You are worried about how Dean is going to handle finding out dear old dad has been a demon all these years. It is nice to know that Dean is alive. Do you think it will kill him to find out he was raised by a demon? He has always obeyed me. Do you think he will save me from Hell? I think he will. He wouldn’t know what to without daddy.”

Jim bit down on his bottom lip and ignored the demon as he picked up the book to perform the exorcism once more. He recited the words and watched as black smoke left John’s body. John slumped against the rack after the demon left. Jim motioned to the soldiers and they untied him from the rack and laid him gently on the floor.

Jim cautiously approached.  He put a tentative hand on John’s shoulder. John’s eyes shot open. They were no longer black they were green and rimmed with red. John recoiled from the touch and looked around him. He sat up and backed up to the rack. His eyes were wide as he took in his surroundings.  His breathing as labored.

Slowly John stood and Jim stood up with him keeping a hand out to help steady him if he fell. John stared at Jim for a moment before asking, “Who are you? Where are my boys and Mary?”

Jim eyed John for a moment before speaking carefully, “My name is Jim. I am a pastor. You were possessed. Mr. Winchester can you tell me the last thing you remember?”

John shook his head. He wasn’t playing this game. There were no such thing as demons. He stepped out of the devil’s trap and away from the rack. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in glass from the windows of a van. He stopped and stared. He was older, a lot older. John ran his fingers over his face and felt the blood on his left side where body was cut. He looked down and saw that his body was riddled with scars which were not there before.

He could not understand what happened. He did not know how much time he lost. He hoped it was only a few years. He thought to himself that Mary would have taken care of the boys and he shouldn’t worry about them. But John didn’t know if Mary survived the fire. He wondered what would have happened to the boys if Mary didn’t survive the fire.

John turned back to Jim and spoke in a shaky voice, “There was a fire in the nursery at my house. I pulled Sam from his crib and gave him to Dean. I told Dean to take Sam outside. I went to go try to get Mary. I guess the blast or something had he pinned to the ceiling. It was weird but before I could get to her I was surrounded in black smoke. Then I woke up here.”

Jim took a deep breath. He took a blanket from one of the soldiers and handed it to John. He didn’t really know what to say so he decided to start with the basics. “That was over 20 years ago. Your wife died in the fire. Sam and Dean survived.”

John wrapped himself in the blanket and turned his arms around himself. He started to cry and he shook. He slumped down on the floor murmuring to himself about Mary. He sobbed for what seemed like a lifetime as Pastor Jim silently watched. The pastor knew there was nothing he could really say. He didn’t even know how Sam and Dean were going to react. He guessed it was going to be poorly on both counts.

Eventually, John controlled his grief and looked up at Pastor Jim, “My boys, I want to see my boys.”

Pastor Jim nodded and put out a hand to help John to his feet. “Let us get you settled in and cleaned up. I will need to talk to Dean to see if we can arrange something.”

John nodded and followed Pastor Jim.

++

Bobby’s idea of talking to Dean before he made a decision about using the cover story or not worked out well. Dean manipulated the situation and told them that he wanted Bobby to stay with him and Sam. Dean reasoned with Pastor Jim that he needed Bobby to help take care of Sam and for his own sanity. He also demanded whiskey. That was two days ago. Bobby, Sam and Dean were moved into a larger windowless apartment. This one had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. One room for Bobby and the other for the boys. Everything else remained much the same.

Dean and Bobby were playing cards on the table musing about times past as Sam slept in the other room. Sam had been doing better although he had been getting a number of nose bleeds lately while he slept which Dean didn’t know what to make of. Kate wasn’t sure what was causing the nose bleeds either and Bobby thought they were both being overprotective.

Dean threw down the cards after he downed his third shot and put his head on the table. “This sucks. The whiskey isn’t making this nightmare go away. I wonder how many people we know are in on this shit.”

Bobby shrugged, “I don’t know but don’t do anything you’ll regret. We have to get out here together. Remember that. Sam isn’t exactly up to a fight yet.”

Dean lifted his head and said solemnly, “Yeah, I know. I just feel like a caged rat. I want to go out and hunt something.”

Bobby poured another shot and smiled, “I think our big hunt is finding a way out of here.”

Dean sighed, “The first thing I am going to hunt when I get out of here is my father.”

Bobby glared at Dean for a moment, “Dean, don’t be an idjit. You are better than that. Don’t lower yourself to his level.”


	13. Chapter 13

Dean drank a lot with Bobby and he didn’t expect to pass out drunk but that was exactly what happened. He woke up in the living room of his windowless apartment with Pastor Jim staring at him. Dean could hear Bobby comforting Sam in the other room which oddly set his mind at ease slightly. His mind wasn’t fully at ease because of the pounding headache he had. He just wanted to drink some water and go back to sleep.

Much to Dean’s dismay, Pastor Jim had other ideas. Dean could tell by the tone in his voice he meant business, “Dean, we need talk.”

Dean couldn’t help but think how poor the timing was on this. It made him wonder what could possibly be this important. He didn’t really care. He didn’t mean to come off sounding desperate when he spoke, but he did. “Pastor Jim, I don’t feel like talking right now. Please go away.”

Pastor Jim knew that a hung over Dean was probably the most docile Dean he was going to get. A sober or drunk Dean was going to be angry. Pastor Jim put on an authoritative voice, “Dean, I am not going anywhere. We need to talk about your father.”

Dean laid back on the sofa and put his arm over his eyes. He sighed and thought to himself how Pastor Jim probably wanted to have a heart to heart about his father is an ass. Dean spoke with his arm still resting on his eyes, “In less, you are here to tell me the bastard is dead. There is nothing to talk about it. I am hung over. I am not going to into the details of my life with you right now or ever.”

Pastor Jim knew Dean was stubborn. It was a Winchester trait although now he wasn’t sure if the boys picked it up from the demon or if it was something genetic inside of them. It hurt him to think about how much influence the demon had on their lives. How much it shaped them into the very people both of them are. Jim would like to think that the influence of people like him and Bobby was stronger but he had his doubts.

Pastor Jim took a deep breath and stated what he came here to tell Dean, “Your father has been possessed since the fire when you were 4. I exorcised the demon. It was difficult, but the demon left. Dean, your father doesn’t remember anything of the last 21, almost 22 years.”

Dean slowly moved his arm down from his face and looked at Pastor Jim. Dean was trying to figure out if he was lying or not. He couldn’t tell but he hoped this was just a sick joke. Dean replied with a sarcastic, “Well, I guess that makes him father of the year.”

Pastor Jim shook his head. Sometimes it was difficult to get through to do Dean. Pastor Jim thought to himself how Dean should understand this. It was pretty basic and stuff he had already taught Dean. Not to mention, Dean knew the story of Bobby’s wife. Pastor Jim figured it was personal and that is why Dean was having trouble wrapping his mind around it. He kept his cool and tried to make Dean understand. “Dean, everything that happened to you and Sam over the years was not his fault. You know how possession works. I don’t think I need to explain that to you.”

Dean glared at Pastor Jim for a moment before asking, “What do you want from me? You want me to forgive him. Fine. I forgive him. I can chalk up our nightmare of a life to my father being possessed and a demon killing my mother. But it doesn’t end there does it Pastor? No, as if those cards don’t suck enough. We get trapped in Camp Crazy. So please, just tell me what you want.”

Pastor Jim sighed and thought to himself how at least Dean showing reserved anger was a good thing in this situation. He spoke carefully in the hopes that Dean would actually hear what he was saying, “He wants to see you and Sam. Your father hasn’t seen you since you were four and Sam was a baby.”

Dean’s answer was a flat simple, “No.” He really didn’t have much to say beyond that.

Pastor Jim started, “Dean..”

Dean cut him off with an angry, “I said no.”

Pastor Jim glanced up and saw Bobby in the corner of the room listening to the conversation. Bobby gave him an uncomfortable smile and a shrug. Jim turned his attention back to Dean and asked simply, “Why?”

Dean put his arm back over his face and said slowly, “Go talk to Sam for a few minutes. Then come back and ask me that question again. Sam’s mind is scrambled. The only memory he has of our father is a demon wearing his face with the ego to want to be called dad. I can’t make Sam understand possession. He is scared. He is hurt. I cannot put this on Sam right now.”

Pastor Jim nodded. Dean did have a point but that still didn’t explain why he couldn’t go see John. It only explained why Sam shouldn’t go see John. Pastor Jim spoke carefully, hoping he didn’t upset Dean more. “Why can’t you go see him alone?”

Dean took the arm off his face again and made eye contact with Pastor Jim, “First of all, I am not leaving Sam alone. Second of all, I am hung over. It doesn’t make for great first impressions.”

Pastor Jim smiled and said softly, “Bobby can stay with Sam. I am sure he will be fine. We can arrange something for this afternoon when your hang over is better. How does that sound?”

Dean glared at Pastor Jim. He knew he wasn’t going to get off the hook with this one. He uttered a defeated, “fine,” before laying back down.

++

John found himself in a small interrogation room after getting the wound on his side stitched up and dressed. He had no idea how the wound happened and when he asked he just got an uncomfortable smile from the army doctor. This wasn’t a great day for him. He found out his wife was dead and he lost 20 years of his life. His children’s entire childhood was stolen from him and he cringed to think about who raised them or how they were raised.

John knew that neither he nor Mary had any other family. It was always just the two of them versus the world. John wondered if maybe the demon these people claimed was inside him for all these years raised the boys and if so what would they be like. Would they be cruel? Would they hate him? He didn’t know, but his mind was wandering with the possibilities.

John watched as the door to the room opened. A short woman with black hair entered the room. She smiled at him and she had a few photos in her hand. “Hi my name is Agent Jody Mills. You can call me Jody.”

John looked away and nodded. He didn’t really have anything to say. More than anything he just wanted to make sure Sam and Dean were okay. He also said a silent prayer to any God or angel that would listen to make sure they weren’t cruel and evil people.

Jody sat down across the table from John and she laid the pictures down next to her. John glanced at them. They were pictures of a couple of kids. He looked back up at Jody waiting for her to tell him something. Jody smiled again and spoke calmly, “Sam and Dean spent a lot of time with one of my friends growing up. His name is Bobby. He was always sort of like a father to them, but he was powerless to stop the boys from leaving with you. Well, the powerless to stop the demon pretending to be you from leaving with them. He didn’t know you were possessed.”

She stopped talking and John took that to mean he was supposed to say something. He said the only thing he could, “Are my boys okay?”

Jody nodded her head ‘yes’. Her voice was uneasy, “They are both alive. Pastor Jim went to talk to Dean about them coming to see you like you asked. Dean understands possession. He is probably going to be upset that he didn’t catch on to you being possessed.”

John smiled and hesitantly said, “I hope I get to find out what sort of man he grew up to be. What about Sam? No one mentions Sam.”

Jody gave John an uneasy look which sent chills down his spine. He knew something was wrong. Her voice was uncertain, “Sam is hurt but he is expected to make a full recovery. He is a very strong young man.”

John stared at her for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to make of her and he wanted to know more about what was wrong with Sam. He was concerned when he spoke, “What happened to Sam? How did he get hurt?”

Jody sighed and spoke calmly, “I think it is best you speak with Dean about that, if he will talk to you. If not, Pastor Jim will go over everything with you. But right now, I have something for you. I have some photos of the boys growing up that my friend took. I am afraid I don’t have anything recent. Bobby isn’t very organized. Dean is 10 and Sam is 6 in the latest photo I could find.”

Jody pushed the photos over to John and he took them.  The first photo was of Dean, who was probably a year older than the last time John saw them. He was holding onto Sam’s hands as Sam stood in front of him. Sam had just the beginnings of dark brown hair poking on top of his head. Both boys were smiling and happy, but they were standing in what appeared to be a junk yard.

The next photo was one of Dean who was 6 according to the back of the photo. Dean had a gun in his hand and was aiming at something. It sent chills up John’s spine. The last thing he wanted was for his boys to know how to use guns. He knew how dangerous weapons could be and he didn’t want either of them to be exposed to that.

The following photo was of a four year old Sam who appeared to be making a fort out of old books in a study. John noted the open bottle of whiskey behind Sam on the desk. But more than that he saw the look of pure contentment on Sam’s face. John took in the photo for a moment, Sam looked so different than Dean did at age four. He wondered what Sam was like back then and he wondered what Sam was like now.

The last photo in the stack was a picture of a six year old Sam and a ten year old Dean sitting on top of a wrecked car in a junk yard. John could see shards of metal around them with didn’t seem to phase either of them. They were both happy in the photo. He thought to himself that maybe their childhood wasn’t all that bad. Maybe everything was going to be okay.   

 

 

 


End file.
